Everything's fine... right?

Have you ever had an experience where you were expecting something wonderful to happen, yet the outcome wasn't very pleasing?

We were supposed to go back to Karachi today. Well, it rained heavily there the last week, leading to some flooding, especially on one main street where I live. The important fact was that there was no college last week, and some chance for this week. Well, I decided yesterday, just before Fajr, while consulting the calendar, that we could move our departure forward by a week.

It was an exciting thought, and I told Abba about it as soon as I got the chance. He was okay with it, he said, and agreed. Yet, I told him, and my sisters, not to tell Amma about the plan. This way she'd get her packing done and we'd tell her towards the end as a suprise.

Well, keep this secret within myself for a day and half was difficult! Amma was rushing about trying to get everything done, even when we went out, we had to main an act of appearing a bit sad at leaving Tabuk. Well, ofcourse I am sad at leaving Tabuk but when I know we're going, not when I know we've moved it forward!

Anyway, our flight was supposed to be at 11:55 pm today, so Amma made us get up early and gave orders to complete our tasks. By this time, I was feeling guilty seeing the effort Amma was putting into her work, while being a worried about getting things done in time. It was difficult! And what's more, we were packing clothes and shoes we'd be needing this week here! What a waste of time.

We gave Amma the surprise an hour ago over lunch, when Abba came back from office. Okay, so she was suprised! And she did eventually become relaxed. But seeing her tense all day today took away a great big chunk of the happiness I was expecting. In fact, I am now wondering over the wisdom of my decision - not only to tell Amma the surprise about 8 hours before the departure time, but also the idea of moving the departure forward in the first place!

She's called Pakistan and told our relatives we're coming, she's told some friends (the ones remaining in Tabuk) that we're going. And even as I failed to notice, to an extent, even I had this idea made up in my mind that we were in fact going to leave today.

I shouldn't be this... confused? Sad? Regretful? I don't now. I shouldn't be feeling awkward anyway. Maybe it's because I fear I might be missing college, or that it would be difficult to be able to get seats next week? Or that our relatives might find it a stupid idea, especially when it turns out it originated in my head?

I feel weird. I shouldn't, though, especially when I've already offered two Nawafil, followed by a Dua to Allah to guide my decision - I did this yesterday after Fajr... after telling Abba to change the departure date. Should I have done that before taking the decision? I'm confused.

For you, dear reader, there's a lesson in this. A surprise may not always turn out as you expect. And for this reason, I'm now wary of surprises. I don't want any part in them anymore because sometimes, they come with a heavy price.

Assalam-o-alaikum.