Dreams and Destinations

This is something I wrote way back in December, left incomplete and then finished off last week. Two people close to me have been mentioned herein by their real names and they've already read it. I thought it'd be nice to put it up on the blog too, even though it's too long for a post (but I couldn't think of anywhere else to put it!).

This is a story, as of yet, without a title.

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I turned onto my side and yawned lazily. Random thoughts drifted in and out of my head, signaling the approach of deep slumber. There was nothing really to worry about, life felt good, comfortable. Automatically, a small note of thanks took birth in my heart and floated off to Allah.

I happily let my conscious float over the memory trunk and search through its contents. A pleasant youth, carefree and fresh greeted me, and I felt my heartstrings being tugged, gently and forcefully at the same time. A barrage of memories flowed forth, like a flood, enveloping me, as I thought back to my early life. Wonderful times I had spent with my family, each day, each moment relived in heart, and my fingertips tingled as I struggled to touch that life again – to hold on to it and never, ever let go.

I could not survive long against my memories. Youth was soon replaced by adolescence and adulthood… now the images moved as though like an accelerating train, and I a lonely bystander, awed and overcome by the winds it blew up. University, friends, teachers, professors, associates and then laughter, arguments, theories, plans, hopes, dreams, wishes, aspirations, pain, joy, tension, excitement…I felt every emotion all over again. Within nanoseconds, it was all over and I vaguely wondered whether that had been all? Had my adolescence tricked me? Was time so cruel?

I could not stop to mull over all that… there was more. Here, I felt my life turn a bend in the road. It was as if one moment, I was soaring in the air, and the next, I had dived into the sea, swimming through its depths, exploring new life and yet being held back by the resistance of the water currents. It was still beautiful, some might argue the deepest sea has hidden treasures that land might never uncover, and I felt every joy of life over and over again. Marriage… a new human being to learn to live with, a new environment and a new land, new air to breath in. Hardly had I learned how to live myself, and I was now guiding into life, tiny little human beings with eyes and noses just like mine.

There were strong currents too, in those times, when I felt resistance was useless and life would break apart. But things moved on, and every time I swam up to the surface and caught a glimpse of that clear, blue sky, I learnt a new lesson for the future, for a happier life thereon. I felt warm, comfortable... the wisdom of Islam had guided me at every point of my life, every point... every moment, every thought.

I smiled happily, my eyes closed, calm and content… my heart beat gently, softly…

Life was running along smoothly now… I untangled myself from my memories. I didn’t have to open my eyes, I could hear deep breathing, proof that the person with whom I shared my life, was still there, beside me. In the next room, one, two, three children lay asleep in their beds, dreaming innocent dreams of toys, toffees and ice creams! The house was silent, but outside, the shrubs and trees in the garden played with the breeze… nature’s melodies lulled life into a deep sleep.

Unknowingly, my thoughts turned to the future. What would the coming life have in store for us? When was my life, my test, to be turned in for assessment? As I thought of this, my memory trunk rattled and shook, as if making its presence felt. Was there anything left in that rickety old assembly of wood? I took hold of the latch and raised the lid… and… and

Sweet melodies… sweet melodies… a myriad of aromas… the coolest breeze…

I tried to open my eyes but a bright, golden light shone in the room, and I had to squint until everything became clearer. Like the light that filled the room, there seemed to be something glowing within me, making me happier and happier with every passing moment.

Conscious thought started drifting back… had I fallen asleep? Was it morning already? But the sun had never seemed so beautiful… it’s light had never woken me so…

I shielded my eyes from the brilliant glow overhead and then, two faces appeared overhead, blocking out the light.
‘Hello? Anyone home?’

That voice was so familiar! I rubbed my eyes and tried to clear my mind.

‘Anam! Saima!’ I recognized my cousins and the shock and surprise was clearly evident on my face.

‘No, it’s Twinkie and Smokey!’ said Saima, rolling her eyes. She was referring to her pet turtles.
‘But how’re you here? Where’s my family? Who brought me here?’ I demanded, confused.

Anam frowned. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
I looked up at my cousins, taking in their appearances for the first time. Dressed in stunning garments, flowing robes of enchanting colors and jewels that glittered even in the shade, they were looking nothing like… like… they usually did. What had they done to their hair? It looked like both had joined some cool beauty parlor that had come up with stunning, never-before-done hairstyles. A streak of irritation crossed my mind – they hadn’t invited me! For a moment, I was stumped. Then, I smiled.

‘I’m dreaming, that’s it! This is a dream! Cool, by the way, you both look fantastic!’ I beamed up at them. Then, with a wide yawn, I closed my eyes, preferring to fall asleep again, even in my dream.

‘I told her! I told her to go easy on the grapes! She’s so sleepy, she’s gone nuts!’ exclaimed, Saima.
‘She’s just joking, Saima!’ said Anam, with finality. ‘Come on, Ameera, jig’s up… let’s go… we’ve been lying here for hours. There are some places I’ve been meaning to check out!’
Saima chuckled. ‘Yeah, and you’re going to die tomorrow, so you’d better get your last wish!’
Both cracked up at this for some crazy reason. Why was Anam dying? And why were they laughing over such a serious issue?

‘It’s not funny!’ I said, confused and irritated. ‘You can’t just make fun of death! Don’t you two have any sense? Does dressing up and acting like you’re young convince you that you’ll never die?!’

I made to get up, but Anum and Saima were suddenly very serious, looking down at me with shocked and bewildered expressions.
‘What are you talking about?’ asked Anam, raising an eyebrow, at which I noticed she had plucked her eyebrows and given them a sleek shape.
‘You made your eyebrows again?!’ I blurted out, not wishing to believe it. ‘I thought you’d given it up for good?’
Anam and Saima looked at each other uneasily.
‘Ameera, you need to take a deep breath,’ said Saima slowly, as if talking to a three-year old.
‘I’m perfectly fine,’ I said loudly. ‘I’m just dreaming!’
‘And when you wake up, you will be… where?’ asked Anam, looking at me closely. Her jewels glistened and sparkled enchantingly.

‘I’ll be at home, in my bedroom, sleeping in my bed…I’ll wake up for Fajr, get the kids ready for school, college! You know the routine! I’ll probably call you to tell the real you about this crazy dream!’ I started laughing. ‘Why am I even having this silly conversation?’

Saima and Anum looked at each other again, and some weird understanding dawned on their faces.

‘See, I told you it was the grapes!’ said Saima, shaking her head. ‘Too much sleep…she’s losing it!’
‘No, I’m not!’ I said with growing indignation. ‘Just wait till I tell your real selves how silly you are in dreams!’

‘Yeah, but first you have to wake up!’ said Anam, suddenly, as, grabbing hold of my hand, she pulled me up into a sitting position. Saima moved out of the way and when I saw what lay spread out before me, I almost fainted. Shaken, I felt the grass beneath my hands, it was cool and dewy. My eyes took in a picture of indescribable beauty… lawns… rivers, falls, hills, gardens…no imagination, no dream could ever have witnessed this…

Suddenly, my vision cleared up, all sleepiness was gone from my mind. Truth, reality hit me hard.

I fell backwards on the grass, and my expressions must have spoke volumes.
‘Okay now?’
‘You were dreaming about your life, weren’t you?’ asked Anam, clearly intrigued. ‘Cool, that’s the first time I’ve seen it happen! I’ve only just heard of people believing they were still living on Earth! Never saw it in person!’

‘I’m alive,’ was all I could manage. The last bits of memory clicked into place and I buried my face in my hands on instinct, remembering that long process… years, centuries it had seemed. Long lines, accountability… death had not been the end itself! But we were past that! We were past all that and by the grace of Allah, by His great Mercy, we were in… Paradise! Heaven! Jannat!

I remembered everything. I raised my gaze towards the sky and wondered if the miracles and surprises in this blessed land were ever going to end.

I suddenly felt like laughing.
‘Come on,’ I said, getting up from the grass. ‘I’ve got to tell Amma and Abba about this!’
I set off down the hill when Saima called out from behind, ‘You’re actually going to walk on a beautiful day like this?’
I thought for a moment and then shook my head.

I spread my wings and took flight.

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I know! I know I should add this one word: InshAllah!