Ethereal Melodies

Walk-through

2007-03-08T10:56:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

I'm blogging at Wordpress now and here's the link to the new blog: Between Dusk and Dawn. That's right, point that little pointy thing on the link and click!

'See you there. Jazak'Allah khair!

Like a Yoyo

2007-03-07T15:35:00.001Z

Assalam-o-alaikum.

Back from the dead? Oh, sure feels like that! This really makes no sense to me that my blog should suddenly start working again. I've been trying off and on to get it to work but I couldn't manage to log in. Yesterday, however, we bought an LCD monitor and I decided to check out Blogger again, while surfing. The webpage loaded just fine and I was able to sign in without a glitch! Morever, I could even access other blog comment pages and leave my own comment too.

I'm really lost for words. It's a very confused Alhamdolillah that I can say right now, more due to the fact that I've already started a blog at Wordpress and was in the process of giving it a test run before making it public. So who decides the fate of young 'Between Dusk and Dawn'? *Sigh* Make new friends but don't forget the old, remember that saying? Or should it be, make new blogs but don't forget the old. Or perhaps, make new blogs and if the old one comes alive again, whack it on the head with a hammer?!

What do I do with two blogs?!

Technical Finale

2006-11-17T03:01:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

It is with great regret that I break to you this news: I will no longer be able to blog at this specific blog, Ethereal-Melodies.blogspot.com. This time, things really have gone out of my control.

I switched over to Beta about three months ago and I haven't been able to log in anymore. I've tried a different server, a different browser, deleted cookies... everything! The only solution is to open a new blog somewhere else, or the normal version at Blogger itself. However, since Blogger says that it will eventually move all its blogs over to the Google-owned version, things don't seem too good for me. Infact, this is an issue plaguing bloggers from, both, Pakistan and China. Censorship isn't the likely cause - just incompatibility with the new version of Blogger! *Sigh*

I have created a new blog but I'm not too happy with the title right now. I'll leave another message about the new blog as soon as I'm over with my final exams, inshAllah, by the end of December.

Whenever my blog seems to recover from one virus, there's always a new one waiting. I know the inconvenience caused when someone visits a blog and finds it "dead", apparently abandoned by the owner. It's also bad when you link to a blog on your own site to find out later that blog is "dead" ...the embrassment!

I offer sincere apologies to everyone who linked to my blog and now has to remove the link. I'm also barred from commenting on your posts so I must commit the "Blog-crime" of being the "silent reader". Sorry for that too (Blogger is trying to turn me into an "apologetic")!

This post has been possible through another blogger whom I could trust with my password, heheh (just kidding). Directions to a new blog will be posted here in the same way, inshAllah, as soon as I get over with the aforementioned exams *cough*nightmares*cough*!

May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you, and rewards for being very patient with long periods of silence here at Ethereal Melodies!

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Ramadan Kareem!

2006-10-25T12:25:00.000Z

Missing

2006-09-28T22:03:00.000Z

Have you ever felt sad with a strong sense of having lost something precious, something so very close to the heart that now that it's gone, there's a void that can't be filled by anything else?

Sometimes, when you come across old photographs, familiar yet forgotten faces smile up at you... people you didn't realize you were moving awar from, heading in the other direction until the last thred of connection between you snapped. Great friends are almost impossible to find, I've now realized. You can't just set out looking for a friend. The only way we come across these amazing people who leave their marks on us forever, is by pure chance. It's only when - and if - you lose such friends that you realize that they couldn't ever be replaced, no matter how hard you look.

I had a great friend in school. We'd talk for hours if we could, about everything on the face of Earth, just like girls do. We'd giggle, we'd laugh, tell each other silly stories. We'd go around together, and while to others we were 'close friends', we never ventured to refer to each other as a 'best friend' ever. Maybe that had something to do with a sort of fear our generation has of fortifying relations. We always want to keep the backdoor open, just in case.

Still, that isn't what happened in my friend's case. After school ended, we parted ways - she stayed on at the school for A-levels while I went into the Pakistani Intermediate system. Somehow, we kept contact during those two years, but it was mostly because I could relate to her stories of school, some common friends who had stayed back, old teachers and school events. Alongside, I'd keep hoping that she'd be serious about a common University... dental surgery... so we could go together and pick up where we left off in school.

I don't know why I wasn't perturbed when she decided to head towards textile designing. Well, maybe it was because she loved talking about clothes, designing them, accessorizing... not that I wasn't too, but I wanted to pursue science as a career. She went on to another University and it still didn't pinch me that I was really missing something.

Maybe that was because I thought I'd make new friends. Yeah, make. It's very easy to make friends.

'Assalam-o-alaikum!'
'Walaikum-Salam.'
'Are you new too?'
'Yeah, what's your name?'
'Ameera, and yours?'
'XYZ...'
'That's a nice name, what does it mean?'

You could have dozens of XYZs and not one single good friend...the good friend you left somewhere in the past. Sure, I know lots of people in University, I go around with a group of two old college friends but there's always something missing there.

I've been thinking about that great friend for a few days now. I called her after I returned from Hajj in January and since then, I've maintained a policy of 'it's her turn, she'll call'. Is that right? Should we be so rigid, so strict, so lost in protecting our own delicate ego that we let go of something much more valuable?

I even saw her in a dream, where I was making her feel guilty about not calling me and I actually made her pick up a phone too call me right when I was infront of her. Pure selfishness, some would say. Maybe they're right. But then, I also wonder, she's got loads of new friends... cool new friends in her textile design university. Why would she want an old friend when she's got so many around already? There's sadness there, with some of that hateful green tint - jealousy.

I've changed in soneways too... I guess that was a different me back in school. A religious awakening during college rid me of some Islamically undesirable things in a person... it certainly changed, to some degree, my view of things. Exchanging romantic novel story-lines, listening to music, being purely materialistic... these became things of the past. Did I become a dull, serious person? No, not at all... but to those who knew me as I was in school, I was different. Too different to integrate.

So, it ends like this. I miss this friend so much that I've thought a lot about her these past two days. She was online on MSN but my mother was chatting with my father, so she left a message: 'Hello.....' That was it! Just one word, no more. I was annoyed but I was touched too. She hadn't forgotten me completely and she couldn't find any words to say anything either.

Now I've made her a card and I'm going to write her a letter with it. I'm going to send it to her as a surprise. We used to write silly letters to each other in school. It won't be the same as it used to be but I'm not going to make the same mistake again. I'm not going to let ego and silly things like that get in the way of a chance to talk to her again.

If you've got a friend you know you should have called a long while back, and if you feel the slightest pinch of missing that friend... pick up the phone and call right now. You won't know it and it would be too late. All that you'd have left would be a few photographs of happy times, all in the past.

Ramadan's here! Nothing else matters...

2006-09-22T18:09:00.000Z

Yaaaaay! It's almost Ramadan! Tonight might be the first Tarawih in the Middle Eastern countries. I've got a new moon down there on the right side of the page so tomorrow, in theory, could be the first of Ramadan in Pakistan, inshAllah. (edit: First Ramadan is on Monday here, because the teeny moon you see on the moon phase box there wasn't visible to anyone but a few who said they might have seen something...)

Another tiny bit of news I wanted to pop in here was the statement the adorable, roly poly former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage made to the director of Pakistan's intelligence agency in 2001. Now that's something you don't get to hear everyday.

To make things clear, I still don't support Musharraf's policies or the argument that he had no other option but to do what he did after 9/11. When three-hundred-and-thirteen men defended their cause against an army one thousand strong, they didn't say, 'We have no choice but to give in and join their ranks.'

May Allah reward and raise the ranks of the men of Badr - both, the first and the last.

Not even funny now...

2006-09-19T22:21:00.000Z

Yes, this isn't funny... it never was in the first place.

Everytime I say, 'I'll be back in a week' or 'I'll do so and so in two days', something always goes wrong, even though I make a point of punctuating almost each word with 'InshAllah' (if Allah wills).

"And say not of anything: Lo! I shall do that tomorrow, except if Allah wills." (Surah Kahf 18:23-24)

All I can say in my defense is that things really did go beyond my control.

First, I came back to Karachi to discover the monitor, which had been making cracking sounds before we left, was now in a worse state. It emitted three loud, hair-raising cracks before failing to function altogether. By the time I was able to borrow one from my Mamoo (Uncle), we discovered the CPU wasn't working either. It took almost a month to get this contraption up and running again. InshAllah, it'll work okay now... though there's a problem with drive F.
A few days after we returned from Tabuk, it rained heavily in Karachi, with thunder and lightning (which are rare here), and in two hours, water was standing upto four feet in our area, and adjoining parts, of the city! We watched from the balcony as water rose in our building's parking about ankle deep. The famous Three Swords round-about and all roads are around it were inundated for the next three to four days as water slowly receded and the footpaths became visible again! The problem was due to the recent construction of an underpass in the locality and laying of small drain pipes during the work. The storm water drains, almost non-existent or clogged with trash, failed to function and as such water accumulated in our area. Needless to say, the electrcity disappeared too for about 30 hours in our building itself, with just a single one hour break.

These days again, there's some power outage occassionally. The silly thing is that all this happens in Karachi mostly. Other cities of Pakistan rarely complain of such weird things as long powere outages in this day and age. However, Karachi inherits a hoard of problems from every out-going government and despite contributing a whopping 60% to the economy, it gets very little back in terms of services and attention. Fellow Pakistanis in the northern parts, for example in Islamabad and Lahore, are suprised when we talk of power cuts and water shortages!

One can only pray that the problems in this city are cleaned up for good. These days, the city government is digging in a posh locality, Bath Island, visible from my balcony. They're uncovering a large drain canal that crosses the locality, to clean it up and lay proper drain pipes. They say next year, "Karachites will enjoy the rains!" My response to that: InshAllah!

I'm also studying for my final exams - the 'Proffs' - that commence in December. They do seem far away but with a load of Anatomy (the upper and lower limbs, and the thorax region), Physiology and Biochemistry to master... that's a short time, especially with Ramadan just around the corner. I've loved every bit of M.B.B.S. so far, and I hope I always will, inshAllah but the exam time is indeed testing.

And guess what? We've got to attempt BCQs... that's Best Choice Quesions... instead of the MCQs that normal, sane human beings attempt all around the world. It means that I'll have five options, A through E, all correct! The trick is to pick up the most suitable answer. Imagine that! We got a taste of BCQs in our Biochemistry second stage test paper... and it was a cute little nightmare in itself. Check this our for example...

Q. Cats...

A. Are quadrupeds

B. Are Carnivorous

C. Have slit-like eyes and can see in the dark

D. Have sharp hearing

E. Make 'meow' sounds

Choose the best answer. What is the best answer? Wouldn't it depend on the examiner on what he thought was best?!

So, to sum it up, that is what's been going on for the past month. During this time, I'm also trying to prepare for Ramadan in some way and strenthen my Iman. I'm also trying desperately to not be angry or irritated, especially with my mother, when something unpleasant happens. InshAllah, it'll be okay. The new channel, Peace TV, that I've been watching has really helped... some good character-building and Iman strengthening programs broadcasted by the Islamic Research Foundation owned channel.

Several interesting new debates and programmes on the channel by famous Muslims such as Bilal Philips, Abdur-Raheem Green, Ahmed Deedat, Yasir Fazaga, Dr Zakir Naik, Dr Israr Ahmed and Suhail Baghdadi are broadcasted throughout the day, making for good, quality TV. The only alternative before this channel was QTV, which, I'm sad to say, failed to supply authentic programmes in accordance with the spirit of Islam but rather turned out to be promoting a special kind (not that I say there could be a different kind) of Islam, with their own interpretations instead of sticking to the pure Deen.

Got to go for now. InshAllah, the blog should be back on track now. It feels great to blog, to be able to write down what one observes, and I've got a lot of statements to make here. Upcoming topics...

- Taking the Public bus in Pakistan... a unique experience!

- Innovations in the Deen: Khatams... being invited, forced to attend and sit in one!

- What to do when Da'wah/Islah fail to reform?

Assalam-o-alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatohu!

Ma'salamah!

2006-08-12T21:00:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

I'm travelling today, in about two hours, returning to Karachi, inshAllah. Expect a gap of, inshAllah, not more than a week before I post again. I see my previous post generated an enraged reply from an American, Devril and I understand that part of that was because I hadn't added that 'note' at the top of the post. InshAllah, I'll reply to you soon, Devril, in case you're reading this right now... the only reason I am not doing that right now is what I've stated above. :)

I'm going to miss Tabuk like crazy, I'm sure. I can hear Isha'a azan in the background, the last I'll hear in Tabuk, or maybe not, if Allah wills. I hope, I pray that we may return for Umrah one day soon, inshAllah.

But for now, it's farewell to the shimmering golden sands of Saudi Arabia! Thank you Allah for giving so much to me, so many lessons, so much guidance, and the chance to visit Makkah so often. Thankyou for letting me live in a place near which your prophets Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Ismael, David, Solomon, Isa (Jesus)... (may Allah be pleased with them all) lived. And thank you for letting me live where Muhammad (peace be upon him) also lived and practiced and preached.

Alhamdolillah!

Assalam-o-alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatohu!
(May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you all!)

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Dreams and Destinations

2006-08-07T00:02:00.000Z

This is something I wrote way back in December, left incomplete and then finished off last week. Two people close to me have been mentioned herein by their real names and they've already read it. I thought it'd be nice to put it up on the blog too, even though it's too long for a post (but I couldn't think of anywhere else to put it!).

This is a story, as of yet, without a title.

.::::::::.

I turned onto my side and yawned lazily. Random thoughts drifted in and out of my head, signaling the approach of deep slumber. There was nothing really to worry about, life felt good, comfortable. Automatically, a small note of thanks took birth in my heart and floated off to Allah.

I happily let my conscious float over the memory trunk and search through its contents. A pleasant youth, carefree and fresh greeted me, and I felt my heartstrings being tugged, gently and forcefully at the same time. A barrage of memories flowed forth, like a flood, enveloping me, as I thought back to my early life. Wonderful times I had spent with my family, each day, each moment relived in heart, and my fingertips tingled as I struggled to touch that life again – to hold on to it and never, ever let go.

I could not survive long against my memories. Youth was soon replaced by adolescence and adulthood… now the images moved as though like an accelerating train, and I a lonely bystander, awed and overcome by the winds it blew up. University, friends, teachers, professors, associates and then laughter, arguments, theories, plans, hopes, dreams, wishes, aspirations, pain, joy, tension, excitement…I felt every emotion all over again. Within nanoseconds, it was all over and I vaguely wondered whether that had been all? Had my adolescence tricked me? Was time so cruel?

I could not stop to mull over all that… there was more. Here, I felt my life turn a bend in the road. It was as if one moment, I was soaring in the air, and the next, I had dived into the sea, swimming through its depths, exploring new life and yet being held back by the resistance of the water currents. It was still beautiful, some might argue the deepest sea has hidden treasures that land might never uncover, and I felt every joy of life over and over again. Marriage… a new human being to learn to live with, a new environment and a new land, new air to breath in. Hardly had I learned how to live myself, and I was now guiding into life, tiny little human beings with eyes and noses just like mine.

There were strong currents too, in those times, when I felt resistance was useless and life would break apart. But things moved on, and every time I swam up to the surface and caught a glimpse of that clear, blue sky, I learnt a new lesson for the future, for a happier life thereon. I felt warm, comfortable... the wisdom of Islam had guided me at every point of my life, every point... every moment, every thought.

I smiled happily, my eyes closed, calm and content… my heart beat gently, softly…

Life was running along smoothly now… I untangled myself from my memories. I didn’t have to open my eyes, I could hear deep breathing, proof that the person with whom I shared my life, was still there, beside me. In the next room, one, two, three children lay asleep in their beds, dreaming innocent dreams of toys, toffees and ice creams! The house was silent, but outside, the shrubs and trees in the garden played with the breeze… nature’s melodies lulled life into a deep sleep.

Unknowingly, my thoughts turned to the future. What would the coming life have in store for us? When was my life, my test, to be turned in for assessment? As I thought of this, my memory trunk rattled and shook, as if making its presence felt. Was there anything left in that rickety old assembly of wood? I took hold of the latch and raised the lid… and… and

Sweet melodies… sweet melodies… a myriad of aromas… the coolest breeze…

I tried to open my eyes but a bright, golden light shone in the room, and I had to squint until everything became clearer. Like the light that filled the room, there seemed to be something glowing within me, making me happier and happier with every passing moment.

Conscious thought started drifting back… had I fallen asleep? Was it morning already? But the sun had never seemed so beautiful… it’s light had never woken me so…

I shielded my eyes from the brilliant glow overhead and then, two faces appeared overhead, blocking out the light.
‘Hello? Anyone home?’

That voice was so familiar! I rubbed my eyes and tried to clear my mind.

‘Anam! Saima!’ I recognized my cousins and the shock and surprise was clearly evident on my face.

‘No, it’s Twinkie and Smokey!’ said Saima, rolling her eyes. She was referring to her pet turtles.
‘But how’re you here? Where’s my family? Who brought me here?’ I demanded, confused.

Anam frowned. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
I looked up at my cousins, taking in their appearances for the first time. Dressed in stunning garments, flowing robes of enchanting colors and jewels that glittered even in the shade, they were looking nothing like… like… they usually did. What had they done to their hair? It looked like both had joined some cool beauty parlor that had come up with stunning, never-before-done hairstyles. A streak of irritation crossed my mind – they hadn’t invited me! For a moment, I was stumped. Then, I smiled.

‘I’m dreaming, that’s it! This is a dream! Cool, by the way, you both look fantastic!’ I beamed up at them. Then, with a wide yawn, I closed my eyes, preferring to fall asleep again, even in my dream.

‘I told her! I told her to go easy on the grapes! She’s so sleepy, she’s gone nuts!’ exclaimed, Saima.
‘She’s just joking, Saima!’ said Anam, with finality. ‘Come on, Ameera, jig’s up… let’s go… we’ve been lying here for hours. There are some places I’ve been meaning to check out!’
Saima chuckled. ‘Yeah, and you’re going to die tomorrow, so you’d better get your last wish!’
Both cracked up at this for some crazy reason. Why was Anam dying? And why were they laughing over such a serious issue?

‘It’s not funny!’ I said, confused and irritated. ‘You can’t just make fun of death! Don’t you two have any sense? Does dressing up and acting like you’re young convince you that you’ll never die?!’

I made to get up, but Anum and Saima were suddenly very serious, looking down at me with shocked and bewildered expressions.
‘What are you talking about?’ asked Anam, raising an eyebrow, at which I noticed she had plucked her eyebrows and given them a sleek shape.
‘You made your eyebrows again?!’ I blurted out, not wishing to believe it. ‘I thought you’d given it up for good?’
Anam and Saima looked at each other uneasily.
‘Ameera, you need to take a deep breath,’ said Saima slowly, as if talking to a three-year old.
‘I’m perfectly fine,’ I said loudly. ‘I’m just dreaming!’
‘And when you wake up, you will be… where?’ asked Anam, looking at me closely. Her jewels glistened and sparkled enchantingly.

‘I’ll be at home, in my bedroom, sleeping in my bed…I’ll wake up for Fajr, get the kids ready for school, college! You know the routine! I’ll probably call you to tell the real you about this crazy dream!’ I started laughing. ‘Why am I even having this silly conversation?’

Saima and Anum looked at each other again, and some weird understanding dawned on their faces.

‘See, I told you it was the grapes!’ said Saima, shaking her head. ‘Too much sleep…she’s losing it!’
‘No, I’m not!’ I said with growing indignation. ‘Just wait till I tell your real selves how silly you are in dreams!’

‘Yeah, but first you have to wake up!’ said Anam, suddenly, as, grabbing hold of my hand, she pulled me up into a sitting position. Saima moved out of the way and when I saw what lay spread out before me, I almost fainted. Shaken, I felt the grass beneath my hands, it was cool and dewy. My eyes took in a picture of indescribable beauty… lawns… rivers, falls, hills, gardens…no imagination, no dream could ever have witnessed this…

Suddenly, my vision cleared up, all sleepiness was gone from my mind. Truth, reality hit me hard.

I fell backwards on the grass, and my expressions must have spoke volumes.
‘Okay now?’
‘You were dreaming about your life, weren’t you?’ asked Anam, clearly intrigued. ‘Cool, that’s the first time I’ve seen it happen! I’ve only just heard of people believing they were still living on Earth! Never saw it in person!’

‘I’m alive,’ was all I could manage. The last bits of memory clicked into place and I buried my face in my hands on instinct, remembering that long process… years, centuries it had seemed. Long lines, accountability… death had not been the end itself! But we were past that! We were past all that and by the grace of Allah, by His great Mercy, we were in… Paradise! Heaven! Jannat!

I remembered everything. I raised my gaze towards the sky and wondered if the miracles and surprises in this blessed land were ever going to end.

I suddenly felt like laughing.
‘Come on,’ I said, getting up from the grass. ‘I’ve got to tell Amma and Abba about this!’
I set off down the hill when Saima called out from behind, ‘You’re actually going to walk on a beautiful day like this?’
I thought for a moment and then shook my head.

I spread my wings and took flight.

.::::::::.

I know! I know I should add this one word: InshAllah!

Everything's fine... right?

2006-08-05T16:56:00.001Z

Have you ever had an experience where you were expecting something wonderful to happen, yet the outcome wasn't very pleasing?

We were supposed to go back to Karachi today. Well, it rained heavily there the last week, leading to some flooding, especially on one main street where I live. The important fact was that there was no college last week, and some chance for this week. Well, I decided yesterday, just before Fajr, while consulting the calendar, that we could move our departure forward by a week.

It was an exciting thought, and I told Abba about it as soon as I got the chance. He was okay with it, he said, and agreed. Yet, I told him, and my sisters, not to tell Amma about the plan. This way she'd get her packing done and we'd tell her towards the end as a suprise.

Well, keep this secret within myself for a day and half was difficult! Amma was rushing about trying to get everything done, even when we went out, we had to main an act of appearing a bit sad at leaving Tabuk. Well, ofcourse I am sad at leaving Tabuk but when I know we're going, not when I know we've moved it forward!

Anyway, our flight was supposed to be at 11:55 pm today, so Amma made us get up early and gave orders to complete our tasks. By this time, I was feeling guilty seeing the effort Amma was putting into her work, while being a worried about getting things done in time. It was difficult! And what's more, we were packing clothes and shoes we'd be needing this week here! What a waste of time.

We gave Amma the surprise an hour ago over lunch, when Abba came back from office. Okay, so she was suprised! And she did eventually become relaxed. But seeing her tense all day today took away a great big chunk of the happiness I was expecting. In fact, I am now wondering over the wisdom of my decision - not only to tell Amma the surprise about 8 hours before the departure time, but also the idea of moving the departure forward in the first place!

She's called Pakistan and told our relatives we're coming, she's told some friends (the ones remaining in Tabuk) that we're going. And even as I failed to notice, to an extent, even I had this idea made up in my mind that we were in fact going to leave today.

I shouldn't be this... confused? Sad? Regretful? I don't now. I shouldn't be feeling awkward anyway. Maybe it's because I fear I might be missing college, or that it would be difficult to be able to get seats next week? Or that our relatives might find it a stupid idea, especially when it turns out it originated in my head?

I feel weird. I shouldn't, though, especially when I've already offered two Nawafil, followed by a Dua to Allah to guide my decision - I did this yesterday after Fajr... after telling Abba to change the departure date. Should I have done that before taking the decision? I'm confused.

For you, dear reader, there's a lesson in this. A surprise may not always turn out as you expect. And for this reason, I'm now wary of surprises. I don't want any part in them anymore because sometimes, they come with a heavy price.

Assalam-o-alaikum.

End of Chapter 1

2006-08-02T03:20:00.000Z

Assalam-0-alaikum.

Three days from today, inshAllah, I'll be boarding an aeroplane at Tabuk's old-fashioned, small-town aiport. As the aircraft will gain height, I'll look out of the window to see the little yellow lights become smaller, smaller... I'll have to crane my neck to see them before they disappear at last.

That's probably going to be my last glimpse of Tabuk and here's why: We're finally leaving Tabuk with 'Exit Only' instead of 'Exit & Re-Entry permitted' stamped on our passports. Ofcourse, we've known this was going to happen for years, ever since my father arrived in developing Tabuk in 1978, and especially since I, my mother and sisters moved back to Pakistan in 2000. You can't live in Saudi Arabia forever, you can't have the nationality, even if you're born here. Even so, being born here and being half-Arab (in all the things that matter) for the past twenty years, it feels weird to tell myself that I'm not coming home again next summer.

How do you get yourself to accept that the place you've spend your whole childhood in, every nook and cranny having some special story attached, you're going to leave and never come back? Can you imagine that happening to you? As for me, the whole thing becomes a bit more complex from the Islamic point of view. Tabuk is midway between Makkah and Jerusalem (or properly, between Makkah and the Jerusalem area). Lebanon is just a 5-hour or less drive away.

The desert, beautiful and serene surrounds us. In countless dust-storms, long drives and Umrah trips, we've breathed in the fresh, pure desert air that reminds us of life's true purpose and the messages of the prophets. Blessed with the olive and it's oil, this land relates to the Quran and it's teachings in such a way that it's difficult to love any other part of the world, if you've lived here once.

We've been packing and shopping this month. It's like a race against time to see everything, go everywhere, experience all the joys we've experienced here... one last time. Seeing our old school, the places we went out to eat, where we picnicked, where old friends lived... one last time.

My father will join us later, inshAllah, after resigning from his job and packing up the rest of the stuff after Eid. Our Umrah trip about two weeks ago, was the last in our own car, driving around as we wished. InshAllah, there shall be more. But it felt strange to say goodbye to the Holy cities, praying at the same time that we'd be able to see them again.

The reason we're leaving, in truth, is that our family has to settle down in Karachi now. Some basic jobs have been put on hold for a long time, and we've got to take care of that now... and my father's retiring next year anyway. For him, saying goodbye to Tabuk is harder, having seen it grow before his eyes in these thiry years. He loves spending Ramadan here and we know how much he's going to miss that too.

For a while, I was very sad at having to leave the place I call my spiritual home. But then, I had to focus on the bigger picture - this world wasn't supposed to be a permanent home... we're travellers, moving on from one place to another. And death will catch up on us one day or the other. The important thing is to be happy, and pray for good health wherever you are. Memories of great times will remain with you always but you can't hold on to time - you've got to let it go.

Last Friday, after Fajr prayers, we got into the car and drove to a park constructed along a major highway along Tabuk, between the city on one side and the farmlands on the other. We set out for a walk on the walking strip along the park - it was a beautiful morning, chilly (desert extremes in summer!) and it felt great to breathe in pure air, smelling of dewy grass in the farms. As we walked along, laughing and waiting for the sun to rise, I knew that we were all thinking the same thing... we were all learning to say goodbye to our home, the beautiful city of Tabuk.

Maybe I'll see you again one day Tabuk. Indeed I have prayed that I be able to visit or possibly live in Tabuk one day again. That I'd be able to call my parents too, on visa. That daydream went a long way!

While in Makkah for Umrah this month, I didn't like the idea of saying goodybe to it. I love Makkah with all my heart. But my father told me of something that made me feel better: When the Prophet (pbuh) emigrated to Madinah, he took a different route out of Madinah. When this road crossed the common route at one point, he looked in the direction of Makkah with great longing. These verses were revealed at that time, which my father also recited as we drove out of the city:

Verily He Who ordained the Qur'an for thee, will bring thee back to the Place of Return (Makkah).

(28:85)

Washed ashore

2006-07-18T01:17:00.000Z

Yes, it really does seem like I've finally climbed onto the shore after some sort of trouble at sea.

I've been, what you'd say, 'missing in action' for a long, long time. Though the blog ban had some part in it, it's still only a small wedge in the whole pie chart. All the rest of the space goes to... mismanagement, disorganization and lack of direction and prioritization.

For some time now, I've been worrying about what to post when I 'return' to my blog. But that's stupid! It's 1:01 am and I'm writing this now, without a moment's thought about trying to 'restore' my 'image'. Hmm, that sound's stupid. So be it.

I started college in January, gave one term exam in March (how I gave it, I have no idea. Allah blessed me with the marks). Then, making a million resolutions about studying more for the next term exams, I worked but still lacked in many quarters... thus, in the term exams of June, I did better but in many ways, as bad as ever.

I've got July off, half of which has passed and I've got my books with me here in Tabuk. I haven't studied yet, though I know I should, but it feels weird. I know what I have to do, yet, I seem to lack the driving force. I keep trying to make myself aim, but I seem to have lost focus.

The real and honest fact is that I love what I am discovering in this field of study, day after day, and I see the application (having done the anatomy of the upper and lower limbs already) right before me. My issues are all psychological - from intense competition in the college to lack of close, good friends around me.

I'm not depressed or disheartened. But I am concerned. And even though I remind myself that Iman - strong and real Iman - is the most important thing for me right now, I sometimes see myself tripping over small pebbles on the pathway. Maybe that's the whole deal. I need to believe in Allah, I need to believe in myself. Being on number 12 on the merit list, I'm unnecessarily awed by the geniuses around me. Am I not too in their midst? Then what am I afraid of?

I need to face up to a lot of such issues that plague my mind, and I'd be glad to get pointers from you. I know you're human too, like me, and you've gone through the same at some point. Help your fellow blogger? :)

?!

2006-04-18T03:52:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum.

I'm writing this post in the hope that it appears on my blog... the problem is that I've been trying to access my blog to post on it but everytime I try any Blogspot blog, all I get is a 'page cannot be displayed' page!

I've tried several computers and ISPs and everytime it was the same - no blog! However, on some odd days do get through but it still doesn't help...

There was a news bit in 'The News' (Pakistan) that Pakistani (or perhaps Muslim) blogs had been blocked? It was in relation to the cartoon issue, as the authorities (who knows who they are?) thought blogs were being used to 'incite' people, etc.

If it's true, well, I wonder when they're going to unblock us? I'm seriously considering switching to MSN Spaces or some other blog site for the time being, especially if this post doesn't go through either. :(

Btw, I can't access anyone else's blogs either, so I havent been able to keep up with what's going on elsewhere. Sorry! :S

Assalam-o-alaikum!

^...^

2006-03-10T22:35:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum.

EM would like to let it's readers know that this blog/blogger is going through a short time-related crisis also known as 'I-just-got-into-medical-college-and-they're-killing-me-for-it' or the 'I-know-it-is-silly-to-be-so-busy-that-blogging-is-impossible-but-I-have-many-valid-reasons' and the 'please-forgive-me-I'll-be-back-soon' phase.

EM also makes it clear that it pains the blogger more than anything else to be unable to blog, specifically about Hajj.

EM will be back online, inshAllah, in the first week of April without any boring and unnecessary details on the cause of this unimaginable delay.

To apologise for any inconvenience that EM may have caused during these past weeks, behold the posted photograph from the small town of Badr in Saudi Arabia. The site of the famous and decisive Battle-of-Badr (not shown in the picture) adjoins this stone wall/memorial with the names of the martys/Shuhada listed, fourteen in all.

Please leave your email ID (if you are new to EM) so that you may be informed as soon as the blog is back online.

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Return to Earth

2006-01-19T07:41:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Alhamdolillah, this Saturday, I returned from Hajj... and what a trip it was! I had never thought one little week could pack such a variety of emotions and events. I visited new places, met new people and learnt some good lessons for life. It may all sound bookish but really, I think, everything about Hajj this year was extra-ordinary!

Alhamdolillah, each and every step of the Hajj itself went smoothly and each has many stories attached with it... I can't wait to get started on the details. As a result of my Hajj this year, I've got much advice for those intending to perform next year... and for the general public, I've got this to say: If you're intending to perform Hajj anytime soon, you'd better go for it now, while you're strong and healthy. Don't wait for your bones to creak because, believe me, it takes a sound and healthy person to perform Hajj. I always marvelled at the stamina and spirit of elderly men and women, leaning on their walking sticks, and walking miles upon miles during Hajj.

Right now, I'm packing because I'm leaving for Karachi in the evening, inshAllah. These past few days were all spent in sleeping and fighting off flu germs and throat infections so I didn't feel like writing anything. InshAllah, from Karachi, I'll be telling you about my Hajj. Interestingly, I kept a journal but as soon as we reached Mina to start Hajj, I found no time to keep up with it.

Really, it's an out-of-the-world experience... literally! You forget that there exists a world outside the Haram area (Makkah, Mina, Arafat... etc.), you forget about world events and the people you share your tent with become almost like family.

Time to leave Tabuk again... Assalam-o-alaikum!

Labbayk! Allahumma labbayk!

2006-01-05T20:15:00.000Z

I remember a time
When I was small
Trembling in step
Two feet tall

But now that I have
Grown to strength
I raise my head
And question God

Have I forgotten miracles
All around me
And of which
I too was?

My purpose is not life
Nor to give life itself
Nor to serve man
Or to serve myself

All these I do
When I worship God
In my surrender to Him
I am of service to all

------------------------------------------------

Assalam-o-alaikum!

It’s finally here. The day we leave for Hajj is finally here, Alhamdolillah. We’ve been busy packing all day, putting together necessary things at the last moment. It’s weird how important things keep popping up when you’ve got your hands busy with a dozen different things. In fact, my sister wrote about it too at her blog, Milk-n-Cookies!

The fact that we’re going by road makes preparation for the journey a little easier because our car (a remodeled 1986 Mercedes station wagon) can pack most of the tiny ‘bits and pieces’ associated with travel. Thus, taking along spare blankets and mats isn’t much of a problem.

My journal will be with me at all times, inshAllah, to record every step of the journey and when I return, I’ll try to post them here as soon as possible. Although I have already described, in short, the changing landscape between Madinah and Tabuk, I’ll probably do it again… every journey on that old road feels like a first to me.

We’re leaving in the morning, as soon as my father comes back from Fajr prayers. We hope to be on the highway when the sun begins to peep out from behind rolling sand dunes. From Tabuk to Madinah where we intend to stay the night, and on Saturday morning, inshAllah, it’s off to Makkah in Ihram.

I must also add here that I’ll post the second part of my previous post (The New Pakistan) after I return next Saturday, inshAllah. I was surprised to see much reaction and it is true, Faraz Ahmed, that discussion on such a topic is impossible at a blog. However, I am not expressing hatred for the sake of hatred but I wish to shed light on a matter that, like it or not, truly goes against the tenets of Islam. Like Faraz bhai said, what good is our faith if we squash our conscience and trample over our morals in search of progress?

On that note, I’m off. The journey that most Muslims dream of all their lives is right before me, Alhamdolillah. I do not know what this week will bring except that it will certainly be the experience of a lifetime. InshAllah, I hope to return with a clear vision for the future and a blank slate of deeds! Remember me in your prayers as I remember you in mine.

Assalam-o-alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatohu!

----------------------------------------------------

A sad incident was reported on TV today. A hotel building in Makkah collapsed shortly after Zuhr prayers. It was thought, at first, that a helicopter had crashed into the building but the last news makes no mention of a helicopter. The facts will, no doubt, unfold in the coming time. There have been several deaths, mostly
Egyptians. The victims were all pilgrims… may Allah grant them Paradise! Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon! To Allah we do belong and to Him is our return!

The New Pakistan: Part I

2006-01-02T08:43:00.000Z

Is it just me or has the Pakistani media gone completely insane?

At first, I was surprised, then faintly worried. After sometime, I really got angry. Now, I just watch in helplessness and resignation.

I change the channel. Again. And Again.

Pervez Musharraf, polishing Pakistan’s image abroad with such confused theories as ‘Enlightened Moderation’, has taken it upon himself to ruin our younger generation. Fine, let me not be as narrow-minded as to blame Musharraf alone. But then, I don’t want to waste time talking of the hidden motives and agendas. I’m more concerned with the effect of such ‘liberalistic’ policies.

Pakistani media, particularly TV, has seen a weird revolution over these past three to four years. I’m narrowing myself down to this time frame because that’s the period in which things blasted forward. Any low-level ‘modernizing’ effort being carried out suddenly got a power boost and the result is before us all today.

Through the ‘90s, the primary TV channel in Pakistan was state-run PTV (Pakistan Television Network) and some associated networks. Drama serials of 13 episodes ran from time to time with popular actors and actresses playing decent roles. The plots were intriguing and Pakistan was a great fan of those drama serials. Western movies telecasted on PTV were censored, and they had good content.

Come 2001 (*cough*September*cough*) and soon, Pakistani media was seeing a change, a revolution of sorts, now that I see what has become of it. There was the news that new private channels were to be launched. Of course, at that time, I was totally unaware of anything negative such channels might bring along.

To cut a long story short, Pakistan saw the launch of new channels between 2003 and 2005. First came Geo TV, launched at 12:00 am 14th August 2003. It came with the slogan of ‘live and let live’… with the word ‘Geo’ being taken in Urdu, meaning simply… ‘Live!’ You can, of course, derive a zillion meanings from that. Geo brought along a host of new dramas, programs and talk shows. Everything seemed fine enough. They put in one or two ‘Islamic’ shows too, to woo the Pakistani audience.

Over the past year, new channels… Hum, Aaj, Geo News, ARY Digital, The Muzik, ARY One World, Fashion TV Pakistan have flooded TV. To the Pakistani government and the general public (especially the middle and upper classes), this is true progress. This is what everyone was waiting for. This is what Pakistan needed. In two to three years, we’ve taken off our ‘madressah’ and ‘radical’ image and taken up the banner of ‘enlightened moderation’.

So what is this ‘enlightened moderation’? What was Pakistan waiting for?

Check any of the abovementioned channels for yourself and you’ll see ‘enlightened moderation’ being lauded and advertised magnificently. As usual, women’s issues top the list. What liberation our new vision has given the Pakistani woman! It’s okay for her to let go of anything Islamic because it’s the 21st century and who needs dupattas, scarves, sleeves and full trousers now? The men of today are civilized! Well, there goes everything! Patches of clothing started disappearing… the midriff, some around the legs, necklines took a dive… I hate writing this but that’s how things are.

Today, the modern Pakistani woman, liberated and free (not truly, even according to the Government’s criteria), can be seen walking the ramp with minimal fabric, or hosting a TV show in a Western style dress (no sleeves, knee length… etc.) or taking some ‘Survivor’ type challenge in the hills of the Himalayas. The same woman will also be found dancing to a medley with her relatives and friends at her sister’s wedding.

I’m not ignorant of the facts. Ever since Pakistan’s creation, there have been Muslim women who chose to wear un-Islamic dressing. Just look at various actresses and singers but then, these were very few and, almost always, elites.

Today, the average Pakistani woman is being depicted on TV with shrinking trousers and tops. Models are idolized and admired by the population such that people, steeped in an inferiority complex, have decided to imitate them in every sense. Go to any birthday party, or Eid dinner, or wedding reception… and you’ll see the average Pakistani woman transformed into a comparable copy of the models.

If you believe that, by and large, the modeling and acting profession is still considered shameful by people, then you’re right (though only barely, because women’s eyes spark up at glimpse of these models and actresses in malls and markets… easily impressed!). However, that might be the case for years but then where is the source of this degeneration?

It comes from a gradual brainwash, a continuous propaganda, an attempt to instill into our minds the glittering images of the ‘modern woman’ through seemingly harmless dramas and movies. What is most harmful is that these things are being carried forward in the name of Islam. A few days ago, a famous TV-actress, dressed in a sort of nightgown, sat interviewing her friend on Aaj TV. Both women continuously praised the ‘recent progress and development seen in the fashion industry’ while frequently saying ‘InshAllah’ and ‘Ma’shAllah’!

A singer of much repute, Najam Sheraz, ever since joining a modernistic-Islamic organization (Arrahman-arraheem.com), starts off his concerts with a Hamd or two. Later, his usual songs are blasted at full volume with un-Islamic lyrics. It isn’t surprising why so many media people have joined this organization… where else would their professions be legalized and recommended with such a big ‘Islamic’ stamp?

I wonder what the world is coming to? Examples I have got a million… consider the recent Lux Style Awards in Karachi, or the Sahara Sangeet Awards in San Francisco… you can see how Pakistan represents itself.

We’re letting go of anything that had remained even remotely Islamic. Enlightenment is the motto of the day and ‘moderation’ is our lifestyle. Come Ramadan and we’ll take flimsy dupattas on our heads and pray for more and more of everything. We might even try to recite the Quran… but an English translation is easier, and that is what ‘enlightened moderation’ means. A few fasts missed, but hey, we’re Muslims, Allah is forgiving! And what about the earthquake? Oh no, it wasn’t a reminder from Allah to right our ways! How could you be so backward as to say such a thing? Allah loves us, and He has given us an opportunity to add to our good deeds by servicing mankind. That is the only truth. That is ‘enlightened moderation’. And that is Islam… I think.

Ahh... my old, creaky bones!

2006-01-01T09:49:00.000Z

Yesterday, as I got out of the car with my family to go to a store, a weird thought came into my mind: what have I done in my life?

Wait, before you go away, let me explain. I meant that I suddenly felt I was towards the end of my life… or that I’d spent all there was so spend in the manner of life.

As soon as the thought came to my mind, I shook my head in disbelief. Why did I feel I was an old woman?! I just turned nineteen about two months ago and I’m wondering about my life?! At first, I was confused, then I tried to derive some sort of reason.

First, I put it on my parents because I felt they talked much about having grown old and not finding this or that interesting anymore. That might be part of the reason but, as I realized later, definitely not the real cause.

It’s because I am no longer interested in or impressed with the latest fashion trends (disappearing fabric) displayed by models, or famous TV actors and actresses. In fact, I’ve even cut myself off from music that I liked… that played a big role. My mind is trying to focus on a serious reality, trying to discipline fantasy while retaining my own identity, my creativity. I try to observe and move with caution, rather than play my way through life without caring for the consequences.

The youth of today experiences such thought and change of focus after thirty, even forty. That’s probably why I can’t consider myself as part of that crazy, carefree youth anymore and the only logical category is the ‘above forty’ bloc.

True, I didn’t like the feeling of oldness that I experienced for a second. But now that I’ve analyzed the cause, I feel much better. My faith and my opinions are not to blame and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The blame lies with me for thinking myself as old. Perhaps in relation to my fellow teenagers, I judge myself as old and wrinkling. I differ in thought and automatically, I differ in age? That should not be so.

Hehe, it’s quite funny too, in a way. Maybe I’m over-reacting and it’s just because of the cold winter and silence in Tabuk. Maybe it’s because our friends in Tabuk have all gone on to other places and we’re the last ones to move. The rooms in our apartment echo with past laughter and memories of a sweet childhood. When we drive around the city, familiar landmarks, old parks and markets remind us of times… of friends who moved on. Perhaps it really is time for us to go too. Perhaps this parting from a secure place is like death to me. Perhaps I feel I’ve grown old and my time is come.

It was a sweet, wonderful life, with the good and sad moments all together. Now that I’ve spent it, it seems like a very small period.

Already I understand how people will feel about their life on the Day of Judgment! A day or a day-and-a-half at the most!

Of Hajj and Hijab

2005-12-28T23:16:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

I step out from behind the curtains, one foot placed gingerly after the other. I’d disappeared from the internet for quite some time, especially from Blogger (my previous post does not count as a post :P ). I need to make up somehow.

The week and a half was so busy, with a cricket match, wedding by-event and our traveling all crammed in. Alongside, some relations were visiting from England and Islamabad, and we happened to be busy on the last day as well. You can judge by the fact that we started our serious packing at 11 pm the night before travel, and our flight was scheduled for 11 am in the morning! Anyway, with all that, we’ve arrived in Tabuk, Alhamdolillah, fine and well. The first thing that hit me, particularly, was the coooold winter. Tabuk has a small airport right now, and you step off the airplane directly onto the tarmac. The short walk into the airport building proved to be quite difficult, and I said to my mother, ‘My saliva’s freezing!’ Haha… okay, not so funny but it was true! The wind-chill factor is no small thing!Settling in took about a day and we’re now just a week away from our departure for Hajj, inshAllah, next Thursday. Abba booked us with a local Hajj group and after putting together a few things, we set off for Jeddah and to a new experience, inshAllah.

Getting to Tabuk and to a relatively more religious setting (no matter the things that tarnish it) giving me a new perspective on Hajj. There’s also the huge factor of my father, who’s trust in Allah and belief in the Hereafter have drove him easily over several bumps in life. Having very recently completed a detailed explanation of the Quran by Dr Israr Ahmed, on CD, says several confusing parts of the Quran now lie open before him as never before. It’s true, Dr Israr’s explanations and commentary of some Surahs or Ayaah is really exceptional! Only today, in fact, Abba praised him, wished him a good health and remarked that had Dr Israr been alive during the Prophet (pbuh)’s time, he’d have been one of the closest companions.

These days, Dr Israr isn’t very well, having had an operation done on his spinal cord, and he’s in great pain. I pray that his health is restored to him and that he lives for a long time to share his great knowledge with us. Ameen.

Onto other things. Last Wednesday, while I was still in Pakistan, my mother and I visited my former teacher (who taught me more in religion than in zoology) as her father had passed away. What a refresher course that was! To visit her, to talk to her in that precious half hour did away with much of the ill-feeling in my heart and doubts regarding several Islamic issues. I’d been struggling with the issue of Hijab for some time, having adopted it only over a year ago. I’d been undecided over whether I was ready to take the Hijab during a wedding ceremony the next day, and the “Should I?” and “I shouldn’t” debate in my mind had been wearing me down for months. I had to, I knew, but was I ready to face the questions, comments, stares or even taunts, that would result? I am the only female in my maternal relations that takes the Hijab.

I placed my problem before my teacher, Mrs. Saleem. Without any thought to human emotional issues and the nag of the heart, she told me, very clearly, “You will take the Hijab at the wedding ceremony tomorrow.” That was my decision, then and there. There is no exception when it comes to a command from Allah. He says, ‘Do it!’ and whatever out heart says, we must do it. If we don’t, it’s our clear loss!My teacher went on to advise Amma to take the Hijab too, especially since Amma takes the scarf and Abaya in Saudi Arabia. It was great fun watching Amma mumble ‘Yes, I hope I will…’ under the repeated and light-hearted pressing from my teacher!Cutting down the rest of the story, I wore new clothes the next day but I had my Dupatta/Chador firmly over my head and it felt great! It felt absolutely great, confident, Alhamdolillah! And what’s weird, I didn’t even feel the jealous twinge, watching other girls of my age dressed up in all their make-up and jewellery! It was weird… cool weird.

I did get some stares, and once or twice, Amma told me to take it off when there were mostly girls in the room but I didn’t even wish to do it. A great weight has been lifted off my shoulder, Alhamdolillah. I no longer need to worry about what this or that person will think about me. Who cares what they think? Will they be there to help me on the Day of Judgment? I will represent myself, then and now, inshAllah.

I might also sound extremely conservative and backward to some people, with my strict negation of concepts of dance and anything un-Islamic, but that’s the way I am… and that’s how a Muslim should be. Why have we become apologetic to the point where we refuse to condemn what Allah condemns? To be truly ‘cool’ is to adopt the logical and correct path of life. A short life to live in, to struggle to stay on the Siraat-e-Mustaqeem… and an eternal life in reward. Who would be crazy to give up such a good offer? Will you?

Insert vague, unrelated, apparently 'cool', title

2005-12-13T12:20:00.000Z

Breaking my resolve of silence on petty issues, I come back yet again, with the realizaton that...

... I forgot my Carbonated fizz!
... I forgot Chocolate!
... I forgot Ice-cream!

I happened to *sob* come across my earliest posts *sob* and how lovingly *sob* *sob* I had talked of Carbonated fizz! How could I ever forget something as important as that?!

My precious Carobonated fizz lies in the refrigerator, so close yet miles apart! Cruel winter, you've got Amma in your clutches and she's put an invisible iron bar around you, but I'll have you one day... I will, insh'Allah, I shall!! *sob*

And your friend, Chocolate... *sob* *wail* my dear friend Chocolate! Where art thou now?! *wail* The 'snap'... the crunch... the munch... *wail*

Ice-cream, will I ever see you again? Your entry into my house this winter is closely watched and prohibited! *wail* I couldn't even use you for Abeer's "Ice-cream" cake! Please forgive me, I faked you with simple cream! I faked you! Oh, the insanity, the cruelty... the injustice... *wail*

Please forgive me, my friends. The unforgivable acts of injustice committed daily in my house... how could I leave for Hajj like this?

*moment of reflection*

Oh well, there's always the alternative - Coffee!!!

Oh,Coffee... yummy, creamy, caffein-rich Coffee... here I come! *Whoooooeeee*

.
.
.

(Note: Ethereal Melodies takes no responsibility for the possible intrusion, and resulting mental disturbance, of stray thoughts and disjointed emotions.)

EDIT: I have NO IDEA what came over me. I slept two and a half hours tonight, do you think that could have something to do with it?

Blogcked!

2005-12-03T13:40:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Yes... it's true... I'm blogcked!

Life has been pretty usual, normal, routine for the past few days. With nowhere to go in the morning or evening, or with no study-guilt upon my shoulders, I'm hanging in a limbo. The admission letters from DUHS won't arrive for another week. I'm usually online, not on MSN, but on Orkut, exchanging messages with Muslims and Non-Muslims, so I've been on an overload of religious knowledge as well as Da'wah techniques. I've met several great Muslims in this way and also come across Non-Muslims with varying degrees of interest in Islam. It's great, really, but it's been consuming so much of my time that I was actually getting addicted to the Internet/Orkut. I'm taking a short break.

Anyway, since everything else is going smooth, Alhamdolillah... I have NOTHING to blog about! I'm suffering from Blogger's Block... I'm blogcked! This is actually a good thing, I suppose, because when writers breaks free from the shackles of writers' block, they actualy produce some good things. So, on this note, I'm showing my 'personal posts' the backseat and taking the road with real, meaningful (excuse the cliche') and focused posts. My life can peep in once in a while but I've got to get up and use this platform productively! Be warned though, wild cackles might jump in once in a while!

One important thing - my friend, Maria, gave me this link to check out and it's really great! Check it out for yourself and tell me what you think about it!

And so, untill next time, Assalam-o-alaikum!

Dow Medical College, DMC

2005-11-21T17:50:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

I checked the DUHS (Dow University of Health Sciences) merit list today at 10 am... Alhamdolillah, I was on the list at number 12! Finally, Alhamdolillah... years and years of education, from K.G. to seconday school, culminate in admission into University.

The medical colleges that come under the head of DUHS are Dow Medical College (DMC) and Sindh Medical College (SMC). Both has 219 seats each, under the category of 'open merit'. So, if your merit score (10% of lower seconday result + 40% higher secondary result + 50% admission test) gives you a rank of under 219, you get into Dow, and if you get a rank between 220 and 438, you get into SMC. That makes up the 438 seats for Open Merit.

The advantages of the Open Merit, or simple 'merit', category are multiple, most importantly, your tuition fee is greatly reduced... around Rs 12000 per year (Just $200 a year!) compared to the regular fee Rs 2 lakh for a government college ($ 3333) and around Rs 4 to 5 lakh ($6666-8333 a year) for private medical colleges. You can now see why everyone wants to get in on open merit into a government college!

Anum and Saima both Alhamdolillah, got a merit score that enabled them to be eligible for SMC! Both were obviously hoping for Dow, but if out of 4000 students, you are ranked on 266 (Anum) and 277 (Saima), I think that's worthy of a standing ovation!

The final merit list will be issued in a few days and during this time, any complaints brought forward by candidates will be addressed.

Alhamdolillah, despite various odds, we cousins now have a seat each in the medical colleges and as for the distribution of the seats, some in DMC and some in SMC, there will be, inshAllah, betterment. I may sound like the wrong person to be saying this, getting into Dow myself, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that, Alhamdolillah, all thanks to Allah, we have been spared the wait of another year... and should be thankful to get a place... where so many others haven't been able to this year. There must be so many girls and boys like us who wished so much to get admissions, and I know many too, and we must be sincerely and truly thankful to Allah for giving us this chance to make our dreams come true. As for our destiny, it will be for the better, inshAllah.

This is a stepping stone in our lives, another turn, another page... if you look at the true logic and reasoning behind this, you would realise that the goal remains as it is, even for those who failed to get admission... the goal of the Hereafter. Whatever you do, whether you eventually become a doctor, engineer, teacher, etc., you have to be a good Muslim, wherever you are!

Assalam-o-alaikum wa rehmatullahi wa barakatohu!

Freedom!

2005-11-15T08:45:00.000Z

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Yay! I'm finally free with the medical college entrance tests! Even though I wasn't putting in concentrated effort, I feel like some big weight has been lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in years, I feel I am completely free - there is no guilt of wasting time and not studying!

The test for KMDC was on 30th October while the test for Dow Medical college (DMC), having being delayed three weeks due to the earthquake relief efforts, was conducted this Sunday, 13th November.

Alhamdolillah it went well! Jazak-Allah for your prayers and wishes! The tests were both Multiple choice... 100 questions each with negative marking of 0.25 for every wrong answer. I scored 90% and 88% in the KMDC and DMC tests respectively. The test scores make up 50% of the 'merit score' while the remaining 50% depend on your school results (Matriculation/O levels and Intermediate/A levels). InshAllah, I can hope to secure a seat in both KMDC and DMC, and then to choose where to go. The merit list for KMDC will be announced today while that for DMC on Monday, 21st November.

I'm feverently praying for my cousins, Saima and Anum, and my friends, Maria, Saira, Hira, Sarah to be able to secure their place in Dow as well! The fact is that we've, Alhamdolillah, only just realized that we need to direct ourselves for the cause of Allah and we really wish to get together for that. Being in the same medical college, meeting each other so often, would really help in strengthening our individual faith while being of some use to the community as well, inshAllah. Dow medical college is associated with a government hospital, the Civil hospital of Karachi and there are scores of poor people there in need. We've got a few ideas for how we could be of service to Allah and humanity at the same time - but we all need to be together for that! May Allah do what is best for us. Ameen.

Classes at Dow will most probably begin around mid-December after completion of various formalities. So I've got about a month of free time... it's a fantastic feeling! There's also the excitement of leaving for Hajj, inshAllah, on 25th December... ours will be a three-week trip to Saudi Arabia, and we'll be arriving in Makkah, inshAllah, by 3rd or 4th of January. The trip from Tabuk, in the north, to Jeddah will be by road in our own car inshAllah - an added bonus as I always love the prospect of driving through the beautiful Saudi Arabian desert. From Jeddah, we'll join a local Hajj group towards Makkah and on, inshAllah.

Hajj is indeed a great blessing and I hadn't thought I'd be called for it so early in life! I'd always maintained that one must go for Hajj as soon as possible - for a girl, after marriage - this was quite unexpected... but welcomed, Subhan-Allah! My parents already know how to go about it, having done Hajj already and my father knows the region like the back of his hand, Alhamdolillah, but being something entirely new for me (in the matter of rituals, not the area), right now, I'm just asking lots and lots of questions.

The prospect of beholding the Ka'bah again and the powerful Makkan landscape, the palpable serenity, the sweet-smelling air, the spirituality cascading towards the valley from Heaven... it's very, very uplifting. My soul is having the time of its life these days, getting a lot of nourishment so Hajj should be a long-awaited feast, inshAllah!

I'm getting to know lots of family and friends will be performing Hajj this year, like Faraz bhai's brother and sister-in-law, my Zoology teacher's sister and brother-in-law... great, alhamdolillah!

Now to move on to the next activity on my "Freedom list" ... probably writing for the local newspapers and an Islamic Magazine, Hiba.

Wish us cousins and friends lots of luck for the DMC list and please pray for us to be together, inshAllah!

Assalam-o-alaikum!

Much ado about something!

2005-11-09T17:00:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

The past two to three days were quite difficult to go by… my mother, younger sister and I were terribly ill, all together! Cold and high fever together, so much so that we were all in bed with damp clothes on our faces. It was irritating, to an extent, because it’s the third time we’ve fallen prey to a flu-like sickness in a month – twice in Ramadan! This time, we suspected it was viral Malaria due to the high fever but then it was diagnosed as a very bad case of flu that’s been ‘around’… why does flu always seem to be ‘around’?! Anyway, alhamdolillah, we’re all quite well now, though continuous high fever for a day and a half has left a sour taste in the mouth, lack of energy and aching limbs.

The test for Dow Medical college, this Sunday, was not a major cause of concern to me during the illness, alhamdolillah… though maybe not because I did well in the KMDC test but because I was occupied with something much more important!No long suspense. :)

I said in my last post about my budding interest in Da’wah activities. Well, would you know it, that very same day a Brazilian Christian, Rene, at Orkut (a site where you can exchange messages with friends and join communities according to your interests) I’d only just started to message, asked for my MSN ID.

I found this person at an Islamic community and thus thought he’d probably be more receptive to our religion. He also had an interest in spirituality, though not any religion associated with it. Anyway, I left him a short note thanking him for being polite to Muslims at the community, and asking him about his interest in Islam. Well, he didn’t turn out to be very interested, only a tiny bit, and not with good intentions, I can assure you.

Still, I let him add me at MSN. Initially, we made small talk… in fact, right away, he asked me how I was so tolerant towards him. All other Muslims had been infuriated with his occasional taunt and mockery of Islam. I have to admit I hadn’t known he could be very frank in his statements of Islam – sometimes, it hurt. I also discovered later that he was extremely rude to other people in his messages (messages between people at Orkut are not allowed privacy) and he actually incited them to hate him in return.

According to Rene’:
'I'm at orkut mostly to be an unrespectful ass***e than anything. So I do disrespect muslims. Not just muslims, but also jews and even christians, like me. But you were so kind and sweet at my scrapbook, so I couldn't be disrespectful with you.'

I told him a Muslim is tolerant and doesn’t have to resort to verbal abuse (like Muslims had been doing with him at Orkut) to get his point across. I also told him that no matter what I say to you, I couldn’t change you on this if you didn’t think it was wrong yourself. So, it was wrong to scream “you’ll rot in hell!!!!! Allah will burn you allll... you’ll never be guided to the truth.. Muslim win you are hell people! Allah will never guide you 2 da truth!” like Muslims at Orkut were doing, and were very pleased with themselves (half my time at Orkut is spent on messaging Muslims to correct this crazy behavior).

Well, Rene’ was surprised, and impressed. I have to say, alhamdolillah, he has never once said anything rude to me or abused me in any way! I’ve told him I had my own views, I didn’t agree with what he did at Orkut, but I couldn’t possibly abuse him for it. At this he called me 'wise' but I pointed it out to him that it wasn’t wisdom – it was the way of the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) and all other Prophets before him... tolerance and patience.

We chatted randomly about Brazilian people and South Asians... a few jokes here and there. Rene, aged 24, turned out to be studying Economics but he’d lost a job recently so he’d had to give up his University for the time being due to lack of finance... but he didn’t sound very depressed about that.

Before I signed off, I mentioned it to him that if he had any questions on Islam, I’d be pleased to provide him an authentic answer, inshAllah. And so, my first chat with Rene was quite exhilarating, as I was really not prepared to talk to someone like him! I mean, he’s quite a weird person... the typical anti-Islam Non-Muslim in some respects but totally unexpected in others! For example, at Orkut, he’d inserted two Arabic words with his nickname so I asked him about their meaning. He didn’t want to translate them for me, as, according to him, it wasn’t something good. I asked him anyway, and really, it was far from decent. He expected some anger from me probably but again, I told him I was bound by tolerance.

‘Truly hope you have no hard feelings at all with my disrespect to others
Muslims,’ he said.

What do you make of a person like that?

Well, I wish to write more but a blog entry shouldn’t become cumbersome to read. I’m definitely going to be posting a lot more about Rene’, inshAllah. This was just the beginning – I’ve chatted with him two more times and we entered the topic of Islam with a big bang... not really how I’d hoped but I suppose when you talk to young Non-Muslims, they’ve got typical questions on Islam that, like it or not, have to be addressed.

I’m thinking of posting our chats on a geocities personal site constructed for this very purpose, what do you think about that? I would have to edit them, though, to keep them decent enough to read. Then, you can give in your ideas too, to have a share in the Da’waa process, inshAllah! (This is so exciting!)

For the next post on Rene’s very interesting chats, stay tuned! Salam alaikum!

Eid Mubarak!

2005-11-06T08:54:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

This post is a bit behind the times but you can blame all that on my computer! The power switch has some electrical problem and lots of random jabbing and tampering might occassionally turn on the computer. I know, I know! I should get it fixed and inshAllah, I will, as soon as the Eid holidays are over...

...which reminds me - Eid Mubarak! May this blessed Eid brings lots of joy and peace at heart to everyone! This Eid was celebrated with solemnity and less dash than usual because of what happened in Pakistan on Oct 8. Nobody really was up for even preparing for Eid this year... the markets registered only 30% sale compared to the previous year. I could vouch for that! When I went to the bazaar across the road, a week after the tragedy, just a few quiet shoppers were visible while the shopkeepers themselves made no attempt to invite you to check out their displays. Much later however, the shopping picked up (sadly, it did develop momentum) and eventually, I could see that the Bazaar finally closed for Eid holidays at 4:30 am on the night of Eid!!!

All we did this Eid was attend two family get-togethers/parties at my Mamoos' (maternal uncles') homes. My maternal relations here in Karachi are such that our internal gatherings are frequent while the interactions with friends, etc. are fewer. This means that you'd usually find one Mamoo visiting the other, one Khala (maternal aunt) visiting some Mamoo, etc. My point is that we cousins get to see each other so often that the special occassions aren't very extra-ordinary! Ofcourse everyone's all dressed up and the food is great! Another plus point, there's no formality, and that means we have extra fun! :P

I've been wondering about this a lot lately - I haven't been writing enough at my blog! And I also feel now that I'm defeating the purpose of a blog by not writing what is on my mind... by writing less and on restricted topics, I feel like I'm setting limits for myself. It isn't fulfilling. Thus, you'll see more posts from now on, inshAllah.

Lately, I've become very, very interested in Da'waa (invitation to Islam)... so much so that I've decided to make it my ultimate goal, inshAllah, after Medical school. I know Da'waa for a Muslima cannot be taken up in the way men do (visiting far flung areas and full-time interaction with the Non-Muslims) but interactions on daily basis with colleagues or through the internet are very convenient. These days, I'm trying to understand the logic that atheists come up with! I've been asking them questions online to learn about what makes them believe that their "existence just IS" (according to one atheist from Germany).

I also bought a basic book on Judaism to begin my library on Comparative Relgion! Also, to equip myself with the Quran as my basic guidebook, I've started making notes of references and categorizing the various ayaah to make it easy for me to quote them to anyone, anywhere. These are not even the basic steps, I know... formal education will have to follow but till that, I'd like to use my time effectively in these activities. I'm very impressed by the likes of Dr. Israr Ahmed, Dr. Zakir Naik and I hope I become a doctor and follow in their footsteps, inshAllah!

The fact is that the rewards a Da'ee (person who invites to Islam) reaps are so blessed and wonderful that I think the only reason I'm eager for Da'waa is because I'm being greedy here. :S Still, true peace of heart, I feel, would be such that comes from knowing someone's heart has turned to Islam, inshAllah! Please pray for me that I may be successful in my endeavours!

We keep forgetting that time is just whizzing by (I no longer like to use the term "slipping by", it is obsolete considering the current speed of time) and that very soon, teenagers would become adults and this middle-aged people... and finally the elderly. Already I am nineteen! Nineteen years of life gone away, most of innocent youth behind me... there's this horizon of possibilities and precious time to use with care. It's like I'm about to invest a big amount of money and I need to be careful where to I do it - there's one chance, one life, one test and one result.

My increasing turn to Islam and the spirituality that is immersed in it also comes from being exposed to so many un-Islamic things. The state of the world and the related state of Muslims is tightening like a noose around my neck. On the night of Eid, I was actually depressed that Ramadan was over! It was because I knew that most Muslims would have now abandoned their five-times prayers ("Ramadan is over!") and the religious atmosphere would dissipate entirely for the whole year! It pains me most to see my immediate relatives - my maternal Uncles and most cousins completely care-free in matters of Salaat/prayer but quick to debate and argue over simple aspects of religion. The so-called "Modern Muslim" feels it sufficient to say "Ma'shaAllah" or "Insh'Allah" and secure his or her Hereafter. Would that Allah would make all my relatives mindful of their five-times prayers and offer them in congregation! That would be such a sight for the eyes!

I could go on and on on that topic and no doubt, you'll hear more from me about that in the coming times. I've got to mention one thing here... my father gave us a BIG BIG BIG Eid gift on the day of the last fast during our chat on MSN. He asked us whether we'd be ready to perfrom Hajj together this year?! Alhamdolillah! My head has been occupied with that ever since! We had planned to visit S. Arabia in the last week of December anyway and since we'd be there we could easily go off for Hajj in the first to second week of January. We'll go by road insh'Allah from Tabuk to Madinah, and from then onwards, join a Hajj group for the pilgrimage!

My parents have already performed Hajj but I was only three at that time so I remember nothing about it. Hajj was always this thing I'd go for one day, probably after marriage. But Allah opened this little window of time right in the first weeks of Medical school, in the year that we plan to leave S. Arabia! SubhanAllah! The winter season is a big plus point. I've started gathering practical tips on Hajj to make my Hajj, inshAllah, the best I can manage!

About Medical school, well, I gave one admission test for the Karachi Medical and Dental College (KMDC) on the 30th of October, last Sunday. Alhamdolillah, with the little time I had spent preparing for it, my test was very good and I got 90% after negative marking. I attribute this success to Allah and to the peace and calm He bestowed upon me without which I wouldn't have been able to keep my head. Again, it reaffirmed my belief in the notion that the more time you spend for Allah, the more you benefit in every matter! You've just got to be patient and tolerant. To reduce study time and take up the Quran, some people might say I should speak for myself, but that's our problem! We hesistate to try it out! Believe me, it's 101% true. I actually realise now the meaning of the Dua "Allah, make good for me my wordly life and made good for me the Hereafter". They go hand in hand.

The merit list for KMDC will be announced on 14th November. That's for Dentistry but my focus has shifted to MBBS suddenly so now, the test for Dow Medical College (DMC) is very important. That's on the 13th of November, it was pushed forward by three weeks because of the nation-wide relief efforts for the quake. I have a week to complete my preparations. Wish me success in which is best!

Loooong post but I had many things to write about.

May Allah bless your life with peace and prosperity!

Salam alaikum!

Take a hint! Comment! :P

From Pop Music to Ethereal Melodies...

2005-10-26T19:51:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

I was delighted to receive a forwarded email today about Junaid Jamshed, ex-musician and pop star of Pakistan. For those of you who don't know, Junaid Jamshed was part of the life and soul of the Pakistani music industry. His good looks and melodious voice made him one the most appreciated pop stars in Pakistan, with a large fan following spanning all genereations.

When I gave up music last year, alhamdolillah, I also had to give up on listening to my favourite Junaid Jamshed hits. But then there came the news that Junaid Jamshed was giving up music forever! It was wonderful news, not because I too wasn't listening to music anymore, but because someone from within this industry, had realized that music was anti-Islamic and had the courage to act upon this.

Here's the email I received; it's based on an interview:

Junaid Jamshed was one of Pakistan's most popular musical artists when he ended his career as a pop star in 2003 to lead a more spiritual life. He talks to Muslim Voice UK about his journey from pop stardom to religious enlightenment.

He initially rocketed to fame in 1987 as the lead singer of Pakistan's first ever pop band Vital Signs, with the patriotic song 'Dil Dil Pakistan.' After a string of hit songs, the band split and Jamshed began his solo career in 1996 achieving even more success as a solo artist. This was also the start of his life changing spiritual journey. He recalls the turning point in his search for inner peace: "The most memorable moment of my life was when I went with my friend for three days in a jamaat, in the path of Allah in October 1997. That is when I realised what a big mistake my whole life had been and that I needed to change."

Although his interest in Islam continued as he delivered hit after hit, it was another five years before the Pakistani pop legend came to the conclusion that his career was not compatible with Islam. He bid farewell to the pop scene on 14 August 2003 and confirms that the decision was not an easy one to take. "It was a difficult decision. Music was not just my passion, my career and livelihood; it was the only thing I knew," said Jamshed.

Despite his announcement, the singer was unable to leave the pop world immediately and had to wait another year due to his contractual tour and album obligations. He has not abandoned music altogether and now sings Islamic songs with his new nasheed album, 'Jalwa-e-Jana,' to be released in October, during the first week of Ramadan.

Now a devout Muslim, he explains why it was essential for him to leave pop music: "Islam does not permit music, especially the way it is done these days and the money that you earn from it is 'haram' (not permitted). It was not the kind of life I wanted to lead."

He reflects upon the day he declared that his pop career was over: "I was quite sad on the day I made the statement because music was my biggest passion; it was in my blood and under my skin and the only thing I was used to. However, I did it to make Allah happy; I did not want to be someone who was written in His bad books."

With responsibilities to his family, he was worried about his future after music, so the ex-pop star ventured into business although he was not business minded. However, he now runs ones of the most successful designer clothes chains in Pakistan and is grateful to God for his success. "In a very short time of two and a half years we have progressed in leap and bounds even though I am not a business man. This is from Allah; he notices every little thing we do for him and his rewards are boundless," said Jamshed.

Jamshed claims that he is far happier today than he ever was at the height of his stardom and says he does not miss the glamour, adoration and the money. He compares the two phases of his life: "What did I get out of my music? I used to come across audiences that listened to me; I got a lot of fame; and made lots of money. However, there is no shortage in those things, even now. When I go out in the path of Allah, thousands of people still come and listen to me. I have my own business now which nets me a very comfortable amount of money. As far as fame is concerned; initially I was famous for being a singer and now I have a lot of respect in the hearts of people."

He is critical of his past and adds: "Initially in my life, I used to call people to something which was against the will of Allah Almighty, and now I call them towards Allah and ask them to fulfil what he wants them to do."

The tall hazel eyed singer was at the pinnacle of his career when he chose faith over pop stardom. The once heart throb, who was always hoarded by fans where ever he went, is barely recognisable these days choosing to dress in simple shalwar kameez with an ever growing beard.

So how did everyone react to his momentous decision? He says there was a big uproar after his announcement and the fans that had once been crazy about him were against him: "Initially most people thought I was mad. It was hard for them to take; here was a man who was their favourite and now he was telling them that everything that he had done was not right. In addition, he was also calling them towards something they did not want to do."

The 41 year old is pleased that his family were supportive. He says his wife saw it coming and jokes: "My wife was relieved as it was a much better option." He explains that although he did not get up to much, he was expected to lead a certain lifestyle because of the profession he was in: "According to the press, I was an eternal playboy and they would link me to one woman or another. So for my wife it was a pleasant change and she is proud of me."

Living with his family in Karachi, Jamshed says his three sons and daughter have all reacted differently: "My daughter loves the change in me, but when my youngest son who is three years old sees a photograph of me from the past, he thinks it is someone else. My eldest son, aged 13 is the only one that really remembers the two phases of my life."

Jamshed is devoted to his faith and feels that he has a responsibility to guide people on to the right path. Although he initially channelled his efforts into charity work, he is now concentrating on 'dawah' work. He explains why he would rather spend his time calling people to the path of Allah: "I was involved in raising money for a hospital in Jang, which is complete now. I don't think I will be doing more charity work as it was not an easy thing to do. I would rather spend my time in the path of Allah. Yes, charity is Allah's work but charity money is someone's 'amanat'; it is a big responsibility ensuring that the money is spent in the right places."

Reflecting on his past, he says he has no regrets about his decision: "I do not miss any aspect of my previous lifestyle at all. My new life is simple, pure and beautiful. I feel that if you bring into your life the commandments of Allah and the way the prophet performed them, your life can become paradise even in this world.

People mistakenly think that their good times never end. I have realised that in this world happiness, grief, good and bad are all temporary. We all need to realise this before it is too late."Jamshed ends the interview with one of his favourite quotes from the Quran : "Allah does not change the state of people unless and until they themselves make an effort to change their lives."

--------

Well, the truth is out there, written on the wall. I remember when I first read of Junaid Jamshed leaving music, he had said, 'Music is one of the root causes of a society's moral decline.'

Junaid Jamshed is now aired on TV One in his hour-long program 'Deen-e-Asan' (Simple Deen) in which he uses his life experiences and opinions to mobilize the viewers, to activate them in matters of religion, to tell them that religion will have to be inculcated in our lives or we shall have nothing to present to Allah on the Day of Judgement.

It was in this program that he said yesterday, 'You have no idea of the mental state and thoughts of the singers on-stage while they are singing, watching the girls dance and lose control of themselves. When we went off stage, we'd be in a very precarious state of mind.'

Whatever argument one presents against music, it is a fact that even I can vouch for, once music is out of your mind, then only can you understand the beauty in the ethereal melodies of the Adhan and the Tilawat-e-Quran.

If you are thinking of abstaining from music, yet are so deep into it that you cannot dream of letting it go in an instant, do what I was advised to do: if you listen to music two hours a day, bring it down to one hour a day in six months or a year. And then, bring it down further. Do it for Allah, for He rewards such efforts with gifts beyond measure.

Music is said to be 'food for the soul', 'sustenance of life' - I gave up music and my soul has never felt more alive, my life never so content as it is today, Alhamdolillah!

Salam alaikum!

Donate...

2005-10-10T20:49:00.000Z

Salam alaikum.

If you wish to donate any money.

Mir Khalil-ur-Rehman Foundation:
Account Title: MKRF - Pakistan Earthquake Relief Fund
Bank Name: United Bank Limited
Account No.: o102598-5
Branch Code: 1234
Branch Name: Al-Rehman Branch
Branch Address: I. I. Chundrigar Road, Karachi , Pakistan

For international telegraphic transfer from any bank abroad,
Swift Code U N I L P K KA

Otherwise, there are the Red Cross and Oxfam as well.

Please donate your money in the way of Allah, no doubt He sees all that we do. This might be the one effort which Allah might love and bless us, forgive all our sins for it.

Salam Alaikum.

The Elimination of Bagh

2005-10-10T20:24:00.000Z

Salam alaikum.

Geo TV just aired a special report from one of it's chief correspondents, Hamid Mir, on the situation in Bagh, a small town in Pakistan-administered Kasmir (Azad Kashmir). Most people have been focusing on Muzaffarabad, Balakot and Ravalakot but the picture of Bagh drew tears to the eyes.

Nothing remains of the once-scenic town of Bagh. The report took us everywhere in the town and at each place they told us the number of dead trapped underneath the debris - a girls' primary school where 300 girls lay buried, a boys' college where about 1200 are thought to be trapped - dead. All that could be seen of homes were their collapsed roofs.

Every single person had a story to tell - had lost atleast one of their near ones. Parents sat outside the ruins of their children's schools, hoping to find their sons and daughters. Women were wailing, lamenting the loss of their mothers, fathers, sisters, daughters, brothers, sons...

Government officials, policemen, no-one was spared by the quake. The few people that remain, the disjointed families have nowhere to go. A teacher or two is alive, and tells of his or her colleagues that couldn't make it to safety. How they count the dead... it is a wonder the death toll is said to be 30,000 when so many people lie underneath the rubble, unaccounted for.

I don't even know why I am writing this here. Who am I trying to reach out to? Allah knows what has happened and He definitely had a purpose and reason for what happened. They were poor people. And they are poorer now. A very long winter is approaching and the sure snowfall.

I don't know what to do. This helplessness is very depressing - what on earth could I possibly do, ever, to relieve those grief-stricken people? They are burying their dead in mass graves... newspapers cover the dead.

Painful is the indifference of people even today. We don't deserve to celebrate Eid, we don't deserve to enjoy anything while our brothers and sisters are in such pain and torment. Don't waste your money in Eid shopping, these people need it more. Can we do anything more? Can we? But how?

I am sitting thousands of kilometres away, on the southern border of Pakistan but the pain and torment seems to fly with the wind and reach us. I see now why people despair of Allah's help. Thoughts float around in my head. Those people. Who will save them? Will Allah save them?

InshAllah, Allah will save them and Allah will guide them to a better life. But with the young generation all perished? Thousands of girls and thousands of boys?

May Allah help us from the despair that follows such tragedies. Ameen. Please remember them in your prayers... remember those who are in terrible pain and grief. May Allah be with us. Ameen.

Earthquake

2005-10-10T18:12:00.000Z

Salam alaikum.

I didn't think I'd be writing on my blog for a couple of days. What happened to our country on Saturday cannot possibly be described in any manner without doing injustice to the scale of the tragedy. However, I cannot ignore this matter, not one bit.

When my mother told me Saturday morning that an earthquake had struck Islamabad, frankly, I wasn't very alarmed - earthquakes aren't uncommon in the mountainous north of Pakistan. I had to go somewhere that morning and in the car radio, the stories started to unfold. The scale of the disaster started becoming apparent. Finally, when I got home and actually sat before the TV to view the live coverage, I couldn't move or do anything else.

Hamid Mir, a reporter with Geo TV, was reporting live from the rooftop of a building. Technicians and other staff at the network had departed, leaving him and the cameraman alone to do the job. Nobody could blame them - they had to look after their families. The screen shook often as, one after one, aftershocks struck the region.

A 7.6 - magnitude earthquake struck South-Asia, with its epicenter jsut 95 miles north of Islamabad. It has been said that since the epicenter wasn't very deep in the Earth's crust (just 10 km), it caused widespread damage. Tremors were felt as far as a 1500 km away in each direction. The Karachites, Alhamdolillah, didn't register anything.

I don't know what to say about the disaster itself. We've been watching the news channels for three days now. The area that was struck hardest was the area of Azad Kashmir (Free Kashmir - Pakistan controlled), Indian-administered Kashmir and the North West Frontier Province (NWFP) of Pakistan which borders Afghanistan. Whole villages have been reduced to piles of rubble. Where there were moutain resorts, crystal-clear waters and scenic moutain sides, only dust and destruction remain.

It was 8:58 am. Most kids were in school as Saturday is a schol day in Government schools. Most men had gone out to their jobs. Women were either asleep or busy in their chores. When the quake struck, the most devastation was caused in small villages and towns scattered on the mountainsides and nestled in narrow valleys. Roofs of schoolhouses came tumbling down upon the innocent children, whole families were buried in their own houses. What you saw first on TV was a collapsed apartment building in a posh locality of Islamabad which tumbled down five seconds after the first tremors.

The Northern areas are often inaccessible even in normal conditions. The roads carved out of the mountains are narrow and crumbling. Often, landslides block major roads. Now, with whole mountains cracked, bridges crumbling - if not destroyed - and mud, wood and concrete houses reduced to heaps of dust, getting to the disaster-struck areas is the biggest challenge. Their needs, their requirements are all staring us in the face, yes, but how do you get to those places without adequate helicopters and without proper roads?

They show images of villages and towns - usually Balakot and Muzaffarabad - where people wait helplessly for aid and relief. Their loved ones are underneath the rubble - even if they are alive, rescue teams might not make it in time. There are so many villages and towns just like theirs that need such help. No aid will be enough.

In destroyed schools, you can still see the dead bodies of children. Such heartwrenching scenes and nobody can do anything. The scale of the disaster is overwhelming. Locals have been trying to clear the debris with their bare hands, shovels - anything - to get to their loved ones. Their homes, their families, their belongings are all gone. Night falls and thudnerstorms add to the plunging temperatures. Whole villages crouch by the fires in the open, huddling close for warmth.

So much needs to be done. In such times, appeal to the International community for help cannot be considered as degrading to our national pride. But alongside, the Paksitani citizens have also come forward to help in droves. Relief camps at many places in the country have registered huge monetary and material donations. The NGOs are doing their work brilliantly! However, the lack of co-ordination often seen should not be heavily criticised. I have to admit that the Government agencies are all engaged in the relief efforts and most top ministers have been working around the clock.

A channel that was recently launched - TV One - has been doing a commendable job all day today. Their hands-on approach to the disaster was very effective. They've been asking viewers to collect volunteers, organize medical teams and contact the network for transport to the disaster areas. Alongside, they've been issuing lists of what is required in material donations. Volunteers - students, doctors, teachers - are helping out at the relief camps in the assortment of the donations. In this regard, the PAF (Pakistan Air Force) is doing a great job in transporting the aid to where it is needed in their C-13Os and cargo planes. The PAF Museum in Karachi has become the scene of a massive relief operation where an army of volunteers is helping out, even now, in whatever way they can.

I felt terribly helpless today as I combed my belongings for anything I could donate in terms of money and clothes. My wardrobe is full of clothes I just got stitched and they know seem to have become a noose around my neck. My country-people need so much and we here are relaxing in every kind of comfort. I really wish I was a doctor now - they need doctors there. They need people to treat their fractures, cuts and amputations.

If you wish to donate, please do! Helicopters an cargo planes are out of the question for the average human being but please donate in terms of money if you live abroad. There are several organizations accepting donations - the Red Cross, Oxfam, Islamic Relief.
We, too, are helping in whatever way we can - medicines, quilts, clothes, shoes, dry food, etc.

It is iftaar time and I must go. My deepest prayers are with my country-people in trouble. May Allah protect us from further disasters and guide the grief-stricken people to be able to lead normal lives again. And may Allah enable us to learn lessons from this reminder of nature. Ameen.

Salam alaikum.

The Test

2005-09-24T03:01:00.000Z

Salam alaikum.

A short post. I am now going to delve into the Medical college aptitude test study with just 30 days before the big date (23rd October)! Sometimes, it sends a shiver down my spine, other times I rebuke myself for turning away from the hope of Allah's help.

I've wasted time but now I must get to the book like a true bookworm. I pray Allah helps all of us busy in the test prep. Ameen.

Ameera, you're an absolute idiot. 30 days! Allah, help!

Salam Alaikum. Good day! :)

Subhan-Allah!

2005-09-20T12:31:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

I just made a post about over an hour ago, and minutes later, I was browsing various websites where the result might be announced. Finally, I found a website where the result were being uploaded and on tenterhooks, I waited for the page to load.

Amongst the multitude of colleges on the page, I found my college and then my roll number! I got 919 out of 1100!!! Alhamdolillah! That 470 out of 550 in my first year, then 449 out of 550 this year - an aggregated result is announced! So, I moved down from 85.45% to 81.6% but an average of 83.54% ... an "A-1" grade, in our education system!

I was so happy, it's all the blessing of Allah, Hadha min fadl-e-Rabbi! Otherwise my papers weren't so good that I'd get these marks! Allah has been very, very kind to me.

This has encouraged me more than ever to spend more time for the sake of Allah. Don't you see? Allah automatically takes care of the rest!

This is the meaning of the dua, 'Rabbana aatina fit-duniya hasana fa fil aakhirati hasana wa qina azab an-naar!' - "Oh Allah, make good for my wordly life and make good for me my Hereafter!"

The purpose of life is to excell in the test of the Hereafter. In the end, that is what will matter. We must thus direct our energies to that purpose, so that everything in life achieves a balance. I might sound preachy and too optimistic, but I'm not being optimistic. I'm being realistic. The reality of this life is the reality of the Hereafter.

May Allah bless your life as He blesses mine. Salam Alaikum!

Result today!

2005-09-20T10:56:00.000Z

Salam Alaikum!

Due to some minor delays, the result wasn't announced on the 15th... but the day has finally arrived. I found out yesterday that the result would be certainly announced today.

You can imagine I must be receving phone calls and SMSes since early in the morning. It is currently 10:45 am and I'm sitting online, hoping for the result to be announced on the internet. Here, the result can be accessed in severeal ways - the evening newspapers supplements, special phone-numbers, tv networks' websites, the education board office, etc.

Frankly, I am not putting much of my brain-power into the result business. To fret over it and worry about it is to not have faith in the doings of Allah. Whatever the result is, and the subsequent admission procedures, one must have complete faith that what will happen will happen for a reason. And besides, we lose our appetite over things such as these when we should really be doing so over our time in the Hereafter. Will we be among the people close to Allah? Will He forgive our wrong-doings and admit us into paradise? That is the question!

Yes, the result can get on your nerves but to give it priority over the rememberance of Allah means you're giving something more importance. So there, you see, is the great test which we are currently taking and will continue to do so until our death.

Many might not agree but, well, this is my blog! And this is what I believe in.

As soon as the result is out, I'll post it here... yes, I'm expecting a decrease but not without the glimmer of hope that Allah might improve the percentage - expect the best from Allah!

Allah Hafiz!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly...

2005-09-11T23:51:00.000Z

Before you read further, it would be better to scroll down and read the previous post as this one is a direct sequel.

In my last post, I’d left the cake in the deep freezer. Well, I woke up the following morning at 8:30 to discover the sky was hidden in a thick blanket of rain clouds! Yes, the monsoon, late again, had finally hit Karachi! The forecast in the newspapers was for about a week of wet weather.So what does this have to do with the cake? Well, my mother and I stood at our balcony and admired the layered clouds, grey and blue and black all at once, but we had yet to find out what was to happen with the fall of the first raindrop.

The ecstatic atmosphere that had overwhelmed the rain-starved city soon died off when the power supply went off in most areas of Karachi! Let me remind you, it was 8:30 am. I had to make the icing and I needed modern electricity-run appliances for that! I could only hope the power supply would be restored soon. Soon. Soon.The rain did not abate that morning so my mother and I decided to brave the squelch outside and drive to the nearest store and get icing sugar and more butter. If only everyone had listened to me and bought the things the night before!

With an impending sense of doom, we made our trip and bought what we needed. The electricity showed no signs of coming back – but there was hope. It was now 11:00 am. We then wondered if the party would be postponed to some other day perhaps? Who knew when the electricity would be back?

But my aunty was determined to go ahead with the party, hoping, like us, that everything would be normal soon. The sky thundered ominously. We decided to go ahead with the cake icing manually! Without a working electric beater, it would take quite some time and energy to beat the butter-cream up into a fluffy icing. Anyway, my mother and I started our work in the gray afternoon. Alhamdolillah, the icing was fine and we made portions out of it – pink and green for the lacing and piping, while plain white for the base coat. Smarties would do the rest.

About two hours and with several sticky hands, dirty utensils and ruptured piping bags – the cake was finally ready and yes, it looked very, very cute with all the effort gone into it. After all our worries, it turned out fantastic, Alhamdolillah! We placed it in the deep freezer which was, thankfully, still cool within. It was 1:30 pm. No electricity yet.

The party was definitely on. Like it or not, crumpled clothes and costumes or not, we had to make it. We thus got about with our costumes. I had planned to go as Hermione Granger from ‘Harry Potter’ and I was very happy with the end result. The crooked black witches’ hat, black robes, white collared shirt with maroon and yellow Gryffindor tie, the Hogwarts school crest on the robes, the black wand and the over stuffed school bag created the perfect look!

Things had started to look up for this day finally! Both my sisters were also dressed – one as a “Jewellery Box” and the other as “Punk”. The punky make-up was fun to do – my poor make-up skills were adding life to my sister’s punk look! She had a scar running down over one eye, a skull-symbol on a cheek, a bandana around her head, cool knuckle gloves (gloves with half of each finger snipped of) and a dozen other accessories to complete the look.

We left for my Uncle’s home at 5:30 pm with the cake in Hermione’s lap. Nine hours – no light yet. The next hour and half was blast, as I’d put it. As cousins continued to arrive at my uncle’s house, there was a scuttle around the door to see how they’d dressed. It was fun… we had Batman, Spiderman, Shrek, Fiona, another Punk, a French model, a princess, a cowboy, a businessman, a clown, an Indian actress, Cinderella, a pathan (Afghan) girl and three ‘60s Indian Heroines’ – these three were my cousins Saima, Meha and Anum – around the same age as I.

It was a lot of fun, even though it was really hot and sticky inside the house. A solitary Emergency light lit the dining area. Despite the problems, everybody was good humored and enjoyed everything! My Punk-sister was awarded a small gift by my Aunt for ‘Best Costume’, mainly because, I think, she looked so out-of-character and bizarre! Everyone began to leave quickly then, for it was growing unbearably hot, dark and stuffy in the apartment. It was 7:30 pm. Eleven hours – no light in sight.

We got home to find that neighboring areas were lighting up again. Our building and several others still lay draped in darkness. Then on, a flurry of emotions overtook each one of us successively. My problem is that I can’t sleep without electricity powering the fans! It’s too hot, sticky and there’s nothing to blow of the mosquitoes. We fanned ourselves with traditional fans made of bamboo but how long could that work?

Word came in that no light was expected until morning. My mother and sisters tried to sleep but couldn’t do so for long. I patrolled the apartment like a mad ghost with a candle in my hand, then read a book I had vowed never to read as it was so boring. I was mad enough to expend precious light from the Emergency light and read it. When I finished, it was 2:00 am. People from various apartments were sitting outside in the common corridors, where the breeze from ducts and large windows were pleasant. Many later went inside.

In the gloomy darkness, I once again started ranting and abusing our pot-bellied politicians who were, no doubt, enjoying air-conditioned palaces in other parts of the city. Nothing could go wrong in their world. And in the rest of the city, a simple rainfall can cause transformers to malfunction and short-circuits to paralyze all activity.

The spirit of the Karachites amazed me – they’ve adjusted to the various problems that come part of a metropolitan situated in a developing country. They go about their work, they adjust, they complain but they don’t fall apart. They don’t become melodramatic. They remain hopeful.

When I finally decided to try and go to sleep, the electricity came back on! It was 4:30 am! Twenty hours without power and we’re back to our old selves as if nothing had happened. Everything’s fine, people go back to their beds with the fans or air-conditioning on – with the difference that they vow to wake up no earlier than noon!So, that is the story of an EVENTFUL day! It might have shocked you if you live in a well-developed country but for the majority of us, this is life and we’re going to take it as it comes, may Allah be with us. Don’t pity us, because we don’t wish to pity ourselves. These are all part of a colourful life and most wouldn’t trade nations for anything. We’d love to chuck out these bloodthirsty politicians but we can’t attribute the sour moments to the land Allah has blessed us with.

(I'll post pics as soon as I can get them from my cousins - my digicam had no capacity for more pics and without electricity, I couldn't download them to my computer! :P )

Half way there... phew!

2005-09-09T01:25:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

A short while ago, I finally got to take my mind off the Birthday cake I've been making for my cousin since 3 pm. It is now 1:03 am precisely. I am covered in layers of kitchen grime and grease, my hair is sticky and my glasses could need a good scrubbing too.

Is it complete? No, sadly. I had planned to finish with the process by 12 pm, shove the cake in to the deep freezer and forget about it till 5 pm tomorrow.

I've been cracking eggs all day... 2o, in total! And separating the yolk and the white too! Besides, think of how much flour, sugar, etc. went along with those eggs! I might make it seem like an army will be present at the birthday party... well... almost an army. :)

Anyway, the reason this cake is not yet done is that when I started with the icing, I discovered that we had "castor" sugar, not "icing" sugar. Why bother going to the market and gettign another pack when you've got a working grinder in the kitchen? I ground up a lot of sugar as "home-made" icing sugar but obviously didn't get it very well refined. Anyway, a whole chunk of butter and a couple of cups of "home-made" icing sugar later, the icing was grainy - duh!

That couldn't work so sms-ed my mother to ask her to get a packet of thick cream on her home from some errand. She got my the cream and I'd just started to complain how the dairy people were cheating on us by selling thin, liquidy cream when I realized my mother had mistakenly bought a 250 ml pack of milk! Couldn't blame her, the packaging is 99.9% identical, except the part where they say "Haleeb - the thickest milk!" instead of "Haleeb - the thickest cream!" as a small sub-title!

Bleucch! Anyway, the time was 9:30 pm. Hurriedly, my mother and I drove down to the nearest market and got a pack of cream!

We then drove not only upto our apartment building but also to the realization that we should have bought icing sugar when we got the cream... anyway, too late. I was inclined to go with the 'grainy' cream but my mother decided to call it a day - put away this cream and start all ofer again in the morning!!!!

I threw a little tantrum at that... I'd been slugging at the cake since 3 pm! Anyway, she didn't budge. No way was she going out for icing sugar again. So... I gave in, put the cake skeleton into the deep freezer and now, eagerly await the morning... 9 am when my mother shall again go to the market and get a new pack of butter and good icing sugar, inshAllah.

The Clown-cake currently is just a round shape for the face, a triangular cone shape for his hat and a bow tie below the face. Enough cake for one day!

Currently, I am putting the finishing touches on my Harry Potter themed costume... I've actually decided to go as Hermione - we're both "insufferable know-it-all's", as Snape would put it.

So what was the point on this post? Introduce you to the pleasures of baking?

No, to show you how things go wrong when Ameera thinks she's planned something perfectly! I can only pray to Allah that things go smoothly tomorrow!

Allah Hafiz!

(By the way, result out on Thursday... pray for me!)

"Enlightened Moderation" explained!

2005-09-05T02:02:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

The website of the Tanzeem-i-Islami organization, founded by renowned Islamic scholar Dr. Israr Ahmed has an excellent "Articles" section, where articles on current affairs and Islamic philosophy are posted and updated. Due to my high regard for Dr. Israr Ahmed, his views, his ideologies, I often visit the website of Tanzeem-i-Islami.

Ubaidullah Jan writes regularly at this website and his articles are very informative. I was, thus, delighted to see that he updated his "Current Affairs" section with an article on the concept of "Enlightened Moderation in Islam" which Pervez Musharraf has been propounding for quite a while now.

Though I have my own criticisms and comments regarding "Enlightened Moderation", I believe Tanzeem-i-Islami presented an excellent analysis. I'm posting it here for anyone interested in Musharraf and his pro-American, anti-Islamic, opportunistic, degrading policies.

You can also see the article here.

---------------------------------------------------------

"Moderate Islam or Effective Subservience" by Ubaidullah Jan

On the opposite ends of the broad spectrum of anti-Islam views, there are two very general and deep-rooted misconceptions: one that the Holy Qur?an preaches intolerance, and the other that Islam is a religion of peace alone. Misrepresentations on the part of both Muslims and non-Muslims could go no further.
The basic principle of Islam, a faith in all the prophets of the world, is enough to give the lie to the first misconception. The Qur?an that preaches not only love and respect for the founders of the great religions of the world, but much more than that — faith in them — could not shrink down to the narrowness of intolerance for those very religions.
Zero tolerance for zulm — injustice and oppression — in Islam negates the second misconception that it is a religion of peace alone.
To demystify this pair of grand misconceptions, we need to study words and deeds of the present day self proclaimed “moderates” who are exploiting the second misconception in their favor, which indirectly leads to consolidation of the first.

Analysis of Musharraf?s approach
Musharraf?s adding “enlightened” to “moderation” gives an impression as if other opportunists are preaching some kind of inferior or benighted moderation. However, his best explanation could hardly tell the difference between the confusion which several others are spreading in the name of moderate Islam for their self-interest.[1]
According to Musharraf, the “suffering” of his “brethren in faith” at the “hands of militants, extremists, terrorists, have inspired” him to come up with “the strategy of Enlightened Moderation.” Here we must note that Musharraf: a) tries to kill two birds in one shot, i.e., to please both Muslims and the enemies of Islam; b) presents ?enlightened moderation? as a strategy not a value or a form of Islam to avoid annoying Muslims; c) confirms Islamophobes perspective that the root of the global turmoil lies with Muslims alone; d) gives legitimacy to the Islamophobes classification of Muslims and Islam e) attempts to show that Islam and secularism are compatible, and f) hides the source of his inspiration — his self interest.

This article is very long to be posted in full here. Please check it out at the link below:
Enlightened Moderation or Effective Subservience

AAAHH! Only a month left!

2005-08-31T18:45:00.000Z

It hit me hard today that I have only just about five weeks left for my MCATs! I've been squandering time for the past two weeks or so, always putting the work off for 'tomorrow'.

Now, it's laughing in my face! Six course books, a million facts to memorize, formulae, life-cycles... that's two years of school work! What was I thinking?

But then again, it's always been like this with me... put it off till it's almost too late, then dive into it with a bag full of tension and try to emerge successful. Alhamdolillah, Allah always tugs my boat away from stormy water into sunshine and towards sandy shores! Thus, people find it hard to believe I have a bad, bad, bad 'procrastination' habit!

Anyway, I've assessed the damage - start studying after sunrise, all day when my sisters are at school... then, a nap after lunch - and back to the books untill evening. Biology gets the priority, then Physics and Chemistry.

Please, please, please pray that I am successful in my endeavors and please also pray for both my cousins, Anum and Saima, who're also stuck in the same big mess!

One big hurdle also left is my exam result for this last academic year... it is to be announced out on the 15th of September.....!! In our exam system, the Intermediate level comprises of two years, with annual exams at the end of each year. In my first year, I got 470 out of 550 (85%)and they'll be issuing the aggregate this year... ie. out of 1100 marks... I just hope I don't drop this year. Getting an overall 85% would really strengthen my chances... ooh, this merit system is really freaky.

Anyway, big day tomorrow, got to sleep!

Allah Hafiz!

- This is the place I wish to get admission into: www.kmdc.edu.pk (Karachi Medical and Dental College)

Another bunch o' Idiosyncracies!

2005-08-19T16:40:00.000Z

Salam alaikum!

I have tried several times to write something about my own routines but somehow, even to me, it just sounds too boring. I would have to get round to that soon but I seem to put if off everyday. Maybe one day I'll wake up and "ping!" - the ability to write about myself will drop down into my brain from heaven and I'll create a new post immediately. Right now you'll have to make do with the regular stuff.

My brain these days is - very crazily - occupied with two main thoughts - or rather three.

-1- Study regularly for the MCATs (Medical College Admission Tests) so that I can get into KMDC (Karachi Medical and Dental College) to do BDS (Bachelor of Dental Surgery) and become a DENTIST ( D - E -N ... oops, sorry!) InshAllah!

-2- Think up a creative but simple costume for my cousin's second birthday party. (Yes, everbody under twenty is supposed to come in a costume - maybe that's because it's the first themed party in the history of my family).

-3- BAKE MY COUSIN'S BIRTHDAY CAKE!

You can see to which thing I have been giving most priority.

I say it's a 101% true fact that most girls will really think first of their appearance, jewellery, make-up, clothes, cooking, kids, stitching, singing, etc. etc. than anything else - yes, there are other things too! It's in the nature of a female and you can't snub her for that. Nothing wrong with having brains and beauty at the same time - *cough*Legally Blonde 2*cough*!

So, to me baking my cousin's birthday cake is very important right now. I'm a little weird in that way - I love cooking, I just love it, and to any cook or wannabe-cook, appreciation from a hungry audience is not only a 'reward' but a motivational factor to strive for more.

Last year, when I baked the cake for Anushey's (my cute little cousin, chewing on a straw in that pic) first birthday, I attempted to make Barney - that cute ... *cough*ugly*cough*... dinosaur kids seem to love so much - why!? Anyway, it turned out to be quite a fiasco with all that food colouring (purple and green!). It was much appreciated but I only thanked the multi-coloured sprinkles which, showered over the huge cake, covered up most errors in icing.

This year however, inshAllah, the design is of my own choice - unlike last year - and a lot of pre-planning is underway. The design was finalized yesterday, colour schemes will be done in the course of this week, recipes reviewed, details conformed and the cake should materialize quite well, inshAllah, on Monday, the 5th of September. In any case, I'll put up a pic.

About the costume - ah, well, because of the cake duty, I'll keep my attire as simple as possible - all I need is my black gown, a wizard's hat, a magic wand and I'm ready!! HP fanship, haha!

Okay, that's enough eccentric behavior for now! Sigh... watching the new Willy Wonka can hit your head pretty hard with "weirdo-ness"...

Going off to recover. Allah Hafiz!

Shockwaves, trills and heart-melting moments! She's done it like never before!

2005-08-13T19:28:00.000Z

Right, first things first.

I'm back in Karachi, with all the mental upheavels and tantrums I had to endure alongside. I returned on Tuesday morning and two days following that, I was shrouded in gloom, despair and distress - not really because of my return, but because I FINALLY got to read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. This itself was not the cause of gloom - but the general story and the events can get you pretty down. I don't know how far the story is true that Tom Cruise had to take an Anti-Depressant after reading HBP! :P

What can I say about the book?! It is absolutely world class and Rowling's out-done herself totally this time! As a female reader, like many others from my gender, I was gagging at "Won-Won" scenes but on the other hand, really appreciating what Harry has had to endure and what he will have to face as the story continues. What he has had to go through is terrible, what he has to forgo, the sacrifices he is now being asked to make... they've ripped out all innocence from his soul - and left a determined man to stand and face upto the dark times ahead.

Every thought and action in this book was carefully planned and worded by Rowling and the darkest of scenes were nerve-wrecking. The plot was tightly woven, with old questions being answered while giving the book something new to carry on. What's more, we finally discover how to get rid of Voldemort - and we also discover that Harry must do it alone. Muggles, or non-Harry Potter readers, will take it to be the average 'Hero' story. Haha... as if!

A new horizon of possiblities has cropped up with this latest book, new theories... and this time, these theories can be debated for years on end due to the complex nature of this installment. And, resist as I cannot, I have to mention here, to any HP fan that prob'ly one of the best part of the book was the new relationship between Harry Potter and Ron's sister, Ginny Weasley. I say this because Harry himself believes her to be his "greatest source of comfort" and "something that was making him happier than anything esle". And also, Rowling herself points out that Ginny is the only person who is Harry's "equal" in the current situation.

Every HP fan is currently reeling from the intensity of the Half-Blood Prince and when all these inital tremors subside, serious debates will take place, theories presented or crossed out, interviews bombarded on Rowling... and largscale begging for the next and last book.

I have only one word to say. If you're still a Muggle, now is the best time to catch up on the Potter series and be part of a truly magical experience!

http://the-leaky-cauldron.org
http://mugglenet.com
http://jkrowling.co.uk

2005-07-27T21:52:00.000Z

I was checking my father's e-mail for him and came across one he had written to his cousin in Islamabad. It contains some very valuable and simple words, which I wish to share with everyone. Here they are:

I do not wish to take any tensions so that the sleeping and digestive mechanisms work uninterrupted. Whatever is going to happen, will happen and most certainly, unless Allah changes or diverts it graciously. My belief is that you should not hurt anyone or be a cause of constraint to anyone. We have to complete our life, of whatever length, doing as much good deeds as possible, and say good bye to this world, as peacefully as possible. You have no control on anything, apart from your actions. You neither came into this world at your own will, nor would you exit from here as such. So, there is nothing in this world which you could plan and execute for sure. You do not have the slightest idea what could happen to you in the next couple of minutes. So why worry and take tensions. Just do good deeds, take it easy, ask forgiveness from Allah and depart light heartedly, when your time comes. Whatever you leave behind, you do not have to worry about. All that will be taken care of by Allah, and in the best possible manner.

The globe had already spinning smoothly for billions of years, when you entered into this world, and will certainly keep spinning even after you have made your exit from this world, until and unless, of course, Allah causes it to spin otherwise. The sum total is, we are not in control of anything, apart from doing good deeds.

Whenever I ponder about the universe and the phenomena it consists of, the creatures of all types around us, our placing in the vast universe, the coexistence of more than six billion humans alongwith other species, clinging to this huge spherical ball, with their trillions of problems, I reach the inescapable conclusion as to how insignificant we are! Certainly Someone has put us here and certainly He is watching us every moment with a meticulous system in place, and certainly He will judge us one day. He is none else then Allah, and we should worry about that day and be prepared for that day. We might die as a prince or a pauper. Both of them will go down with nothing but a few yards of plain cloth and nothing more, except the good or the bad deeds done, very meticulously recorded in a chip placed somewhere in our body, which will be replayed on the day of judgment. Yes, when you let your imagination have a freefall the possible configurations are endless. May Allah guide us all to the right path and end our lives entrenched in firm faith.

Ameen...

'Photo-post'

2005-07-24T13:27:00.000Z

This is the pic I took after performing Tawaf at mid-day. As you can see, it's really really sweltering...

I'll try to fish out more pics later.

I upgraded to IE 6.0 and finally, my basic blogger features are fully functional! I've been wanting to upload these pics taken during the Umrah for some time... the resolution is as good as it can get on my Acer digicam (2001!!).

This is just one of the entrance to the Haram at Makkah - it is called 'Bab-Abdul Aziz' (Bab in Arabic means 'gate'). I took this pic after Fajr...

A view of the same gate in the afternoon, Zuhr time... in the background, all those tall buildings are part of the 'palace' built on Mount Ajyad or 'Jebel Ajyad'. Needless to say, you can only stay there if you're Saudi Arabian royalty.

Emotional stuff...

2005-07-19T23:11:00.000Z

It's official, I suppose - Ameera is going through one of her 'emotional oscillations'.

After years, I'm stumbling back to poetry (for unexplainable reasons), and here's another one I wrote. No 'degrading' myself now. :) Thanks for your wonderful support!

Our parents are probably the only ones who'll ever love us truly, wherever we are and whatever we choose to become. We all know that life's end will take them away from us but we forget. When we realize it's too late to hold their hands again, or give them a hug, even the strongest of us crumble...

------

Long is the night
I am dreaming through,
And this night breathes new life,
Into memories of you.

So long it has been
Since you left me so,
Alone in this darkening world
With so far to go.

Long is the night��
But I��m seeing you.
This night be still
So I could be with you.

The bud you held,
So tender, so soft.
That lovely touch
Has held me aloft.

Long is the night,
And I can still hear you.
Words of knowledge
That only you knew.

Pain and misery,
You took from me.
To love and joy,
You led the way.

Long is the night,
And I��m missing you.
One moment you were here,
And now I look for you.

Gone are you forever true��
Gone with you
Are those times I knew.
Still in the dark, I stumble after you.

Long is the night
I��m creeping through��
But the pearls that you left
Are still shining true��

--------

I'll try to get out of this 'phase'. :)

What happens when you...

2005-07-18T00:27:00.000Z

... stay up late. This title is the only one I could think of for this rather *unexplainable* post!

I don't why I've stayed up late tonight. When I finally decided to go to sleep about an hour ago, I discovered a shoebox in a wardrobe, labelled "Ameera's things". They were old memories, scraps, sketches, etc. and I went through them.

I don't know how or why but something in that box triggered off my poetic emotions, and I started to sing broken, disjointed lyrics. When I came across a blank sketch book, I grabbed a pen and decided to create my own comic strip. What happened next was rather weird considering the follow up to it.

I drew the head of a weird chicken (like those in the movie 'Chicken Run') but suddenly, I felt like some sort of poem was forming in my head. This happens rarely with me - the last time it happened, I wrote a cool little poem... and put a password on it that I forgot. Wonderful.

Anyway, I scribbled, singling along to the nascent lyrics. The poor chicken's head was surrounded by messy handwriting. In the end, I came out with this short poem... and I haven't named it yet. I've always loved 'Stopping by woods on a snowy evening' by Robert Frost. Somehow, even if it may sound incredibly self-centered and crazy, to me my little poem follows Frost's plot-line and provides a sort of 'epilogue'.

Before you read the poem, do bear in mind that people think up weird things at night and when they sacrifice sleep, their brain cells start jumping off the cliff into the Vale of Death. Good proof here already.

Here's the peom, and being partly free-style, I doubt you'll call it one:

Lovely pie in the sky,
Makes me reach up so high...
And go for that
I had never thought
Would be so nigh.

Gazing up at the crystal sky,
And a million stars,
Twinkling back...
Why is it that we wish to be
Up there, so far?
So crazy, why?

I stand here in this chilling wind,
My feet so tired, my eyes so dim...
But something is driving me
To farther lands
And brighter fields
Where I have to be.

Pain so much I've come to know,
So lightly still I tread the snow.
So happy I let my steed go.
I hope to stop and breathe in
To find solace from that deafening din.
And still the stars beckon me in...

Tonight I cross
My final bridge...
Tonight I'm back at that silent ridge...
With flakes filling up that familiar wood,
I'm back where I thought
I never would.

-------

The only thing I can say here is that Frost's poem was so simple but the depth of its meaning cannot be fathomed completely by anyone... perhaps even himself.

I have a strong urge to degrade my poem here, to save me from harsh criticism, but perhaps someone will find meaning in those broken verses...

For the record, I like the poem... for its ambiguity.

The end of an era

2005-07-14T23:44:00.000Z

There are sad and less-than-pleasant thoughts floating around inside my head these days. I believe they originated in a significant incident that took place about three days ago after dinner time, in our house �� my father discussed with us, very openly and clearly, our plans to leave the Kingdom�� very soon. This, in itself, is not the cause of my subconscious melancholy �� but the emotions that it triggered are wounding me still.

They say that wherever in the world you are, the link between you and your birth-place, or where you spent your childhood, does not dissipate. Tabuk was my home 24/7 from my birth up till 2000 when I moved to Pakistan but visiting intermittently �� in the summer, and sometimes the winter, holidays �� strengthened my emotions. Whenever we arrived in the city from Pakistan, I always felt I had come home �� and when I returned to Pakistan, drove to our apartment, Karachi was new to me�� again.

We have lived in Tabuk in the same apartment for almost twenty years�� the walls, the doors, the furniture, the little courtyard with the Bougainvillea tree, the countless cats�� they left their marks on me and molded my personality. I grew up in this city and it, too, grew up with me�� from a small town, it developed into a sprawling metropolis and of late, much attention has been paid to encourage its development. And, when finally Tabuk has taken off as a complete city with the utility problems and other messes cleared up, we��re departing��

For any human being, some sort of cultural background coupled with a few material possessions is absolutely essential for survival. Take away a beggar��s cloak or his collecting bowl and he will be stooped in misery because those possessions enabled him to relate to life, to the living �� they were ��standards��. To me, my life in Tabuk, represented by our humble apartment is and will always be a standard�� but there is pain, knowing that this standard will exist only in my memories after some time�� it will become a ghost of it��s former self. Now that is very destabilizing.

When my father announced his plans to pack up, and the reasons behind it, he also stated that he was the one who would miss Tabuk the most. I was wounded �� Tabuk, my birth-land, would be a greater loss to me and I immediately said so. But he pointed out that he��d been working in Tabuk for almost 28 years now �� shocking, isn��t it? When he came to this place, it was a small outpost and farming area�� the surrounding desert forever threatened to cut short its development into a city. But the city won and it was born before his eyes �� yes, I admitted, he��d miss it most perhaps. And for him to pack from a place at the age of 56�� very, very destabilizing.

Every expatriate who works here is always aware that sooner or later, he or she will leave this place and go back to the ��homeland��. But the time factor is most important here�� like an aged tree, my father is strongly rooted into this soil, this lifestyle and routine. My sisters and I emerged from this very soil, soft and delicate. My mother��s married life began in Tabuk. We��re firmly rooted�� it��ll take a lot of painful and destructive pulling to take us out of this land.

But then, change is bound to happen sooner or later and it is what brings about the best qualities in people, develops in them an immune system ever ready to face new challenges. My father quotes the Quran and says,

��Kullo man alaiha faan.��
(Whatsoever is on it [the earth] will perish.)

- Ayah 26: Surah Ar-Rahman

Everything that I place so much importance in, everything that seems to me to be essential for my survival will all perish �� except for faith in Allah �� may it never leave my heart. This seems to be quite a bit to take down but with constant self-counseling and reminding myself about the real priorities of life, I just might do it. The insecurity I��m, afraid of today, in leaving Tabuk might be countered by hopes and aspirations for what lies ahead.

A big change will now take place in our lives, as a family. Split into two since 2000, we will now, inshAllah, be able to live together in the same house �� a complete family �� not separated by thousands of miles. My father will be able to witness again our daily struggles and joys, guide us, be there for us in every possible way, inshAllah. My mother will be able to return to her original duties and shed off those extra worries which come with being solely responsible for the kids �� inshAllah.

Perhaps the Prophet (pbuh) wanted to avert these sad feelings in the Ummah when we said that we should live in this world like a traveler who sits in the shade of a tree�� he fulfils his need to rest but he also draws strength for his journey ahead�� his gaze never wavers from the road. Likewise, let this world be a source of comfort but never make it, of yourself, the reason for sorrow.

Hehe hoo hoo haha!

2005-07-12T22:03:00.000Z

I was flipping through an ancient issue of Readers' Digest (Jan '96) a while ago... there's nothing else to do, it's 1 am, and we've got visitors that haven't left - yet. :)

Anyway, I came across this joke and it just cracked me up, I *had* to post it here:

1960s Arithmetic test: A logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of that amount. What is his profit?

'70s new-math test: A logger exchanges a set (L) of lumber for a set (M) of money. The cardinality of Set L is 100. The Set C of production costs contains 20 fewer points. What is the cardinality of Set P of profits?

'80s "dumbed down" version: A logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost is $80, his profit is $20. Find and circle the number 20.

'90s version: An unenlightened logger cuts down a beautiful stand of 100 trees in order to make a $20 profit. Write an essay explaining how you feel about this as a way to make money. Topic for discussion: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?

By the way, our guests just departed. It is 1:23 am.

Who is the Half-Blood prince?

2005-07-12T20:39:00.000Z

That's what says on the boxes containing HP 6 "Harry Potter and the HAlf-Blood Prince"!

I'm going mad looking at pics of the book being packed and shipped off to... wherever! From wherever, they'll take them to those LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY people all over the world who've ordered!

I won't be able to get my hands on one until 7th August, when I return to Karachi... this is sooooooo difficult. I'm losing it...

Bad time to post!

(btw, if you're a HP fan, check this and go nuts:
http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/images/2005/07/hbpamazon1-4.html
http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/images/2005/07/hbpamazon1-4.html )

Passing through Madinah

2005-07-11T15:56:00.000Z

I had so much fun writing the previous post, and getting two ��comments�� (!!!) that I��m starting the next one straight away. If I were to write about what I��ve done today, it would be a speech about an unsuccessful shopping trip �� no purses, jewellery or sandals at the Shamel plaza that could match my taste! It leaves a bad taste in the mouth �� or maybe that��s because I had some carbonated fizz with ice-cream and didn��t rinse my mouth later? :(

Now to things that make sense and are actually much more important than stupid shopping trips.

The final leg of our Umrah trip was to take us to Madinah, and closer to my birth-city of Tabuk. Makkah and Madinah are separated by a distance of about 450 km �� around 3.5 hours by road, and we were out of the city by 4 pm. What amazed me, as we drove through numerous tunnels and over long flyovers, was that Makkah is a very large city and since it developed in a hilly area, there aren��t too many tall buildings but just little houses with flat roofs dotted over the landscape. Personally, I��d love to live in a place like Makkah �� atleast, when you wake up at night and go to the balcony, you can close your eyes and imagine the Prophet (pbuh) going forth to the Hira cave in the shadows. It gives a great sense of security and peace�� but then, I believe, the sands of Arabia all seem to be singing the praise of Allah and pointing towards Makkah��

We stopped just to offer Asr prayer at a small petrol pump-cum-rest area and the sun set on our way to Madinah. Since were traveling towards a region where the sun set later than in Makkah, the light from the sunset and the subsequent shades in the sky persisted for a long while, and when darkness actually fell, we were on the outskirts of Madinah. The approach to Madinah from the Tabuk direction, that is from the north, is through rocky mountains, sandy plains and barren hills. In contrast, the southern road from Makkah, is runs through a uniform landscape �� rocky hills of varying shapes, and more shapes are quite interesting, especially when they are set against the sunset hues and tints.

The first thing you notice about Madinah, after Makkah, is the ��peace and quiet��, especially after sunset. The Prophet��s mosque in Madinah, no doubt highly revered, yet is still basically just a mosque �� it attracts almost the same number of pilgrims as in Makkah, but few are recurrent�� many are just passing through. Also, Madinites usually offer prayers in mosques closer to their homes, except for the Friday prayer perhaps. As we entered Madinah, my father told us that the Prophet (pbuh) loved this city so much that when he neared it, on the way back from some expedition, he would urge his camel forward into a run and enjoy the rushing air that thus greeted him.

As it was time for Ishaa when we entered Madinah, we decided to stop at Masjid-e-Qiblatain (Two Qiblahs) to offer the prayer. It was at this site that the Prophet (pbuh) received the Divine Revelation ordering him to change his Qiblah from the Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem to the Kaabah in Makkah �� it is thus named Qiblatain, Two Qiblahs. After the prayers, we were back in our car and decided to take up the next big challenge �� finding the Pakistan House in Madinah. Following the road signs, getting to the Prophet��s mosque is easy but finding a suitable and economical hotel, unless you have a reservation, is a BIG problem. Thus, we decided to look for the Pakistan House.

After taking a few directions from helpful Pakistanis here and there, we were in the Pakistan House of Madinah, which, sadly, has quite a few lessons to learn from it��s sister-building in Makkah. Charging the same rates for the respective rooms, they fell behind in standard to such an extent that at first, I thought it was absurd! The carpets had stains, the bedsheets obviously hadn��t been washed and useless racks (storage space, in a hotel?!) had been built in a wall�� each storage compartment was about one feet by one feet and several inches deep�� well and good, but who on earth would need them?! They looked like niches to display crystals or cute little vases! The ��Room Service�� had been advertised on every main wall in the building, from the reception to the elevators and floor corridors�� however, when Abba ordered some dinner, they didn��t send it up. Tired and sleepy from the drive, my father called them again only to be told that no order had been received and had he perhaps ordered food from the restaurants across the road? You can imagine my father��s irritation at that.

Anyway, we sisters retired to our room as we had to wake up at 3:00 am for Fajr. By the way, our room was a hexagon and I later discovered, when I heard sounds of rushing water and found a drain, that it had been a KITCHEN before it was converted to a bedroom! The rushing sounds were from a thick drainpipe that ran beside a wall in the room �� and since the sounds were *occassional*, I presumed there must be a bathroom on the floor above us. Ah��

I live by a rule�� keep the lights on when sleeping in a weird hotel.

We woke at 3:00 am and ran about hurriedly making Wudhu, and not one of us had any intention of missing the shuttle service between the Pak. House and the Mosque, which was around two kilometers away in walking terms (over the underpass, across wide roads, around a large construction site, along long streets and lanes, and finally, across the Mosque courtyard).

I just love going for Fajr, be it Makkah or Medinah �� because when men and women quietly emerge from their residences and all hear towards the mosque in a serene manner, without the hustle and bustle of the city in the background, you feel as if you��re watching everyone going towards some big goal, all equal. When I was younger and we stayed closer to the Prophet��s mosque (in hotels that have now been cleared away to erect taller structures), I always loved people emerging from tiny streets and lanes, and walking towards the mosque in the darkness, with the Azaan echoing in the otherwise quiet night�� the scene reminded me then of the Day of Judgment, when people would be walking towards the Hashr plain �� although I know the scene would, alas, be more chaotic then.

We were in time for the shuttle service that took us to the Mosque along a route we had never, ever taken before, and neither had my father �� through the massive underground parking lots. When the Prophet��s Mosque underwent expansion (carried out by the Saudi Bin-Laden company), all aspects were taken into consideration �� increasing visitors and pilgrims needed not only space to pray but the great problem of parking area cropped up. Thus, most of the area around the mosque underground was excavated to make parking lots. At peak time, these spaces are full. Not only this, but the underground parking is connected directly to the mosque��s courtyard through two levels of escalators, separate for men and women, and washrooms provided at each level. The proper, full-fledged underground washrooms are actually constructed alongside the parking area exits. Such is the rush in the Hajj season that all of the hundred or so washroom stalls in each washroom area (of which there are ten to eleven for each gender, around the mosque, underground) are in use.

So�� we ascended the escalators and saw directly above us, the towering minarets of the beautiful mosque. I reminded myself to take a snapshot of that view �� but fate had other plans! When we approached the closest doorway for ladies, there were two authorized women standing there, checking the purses and handbags of the entering ladies. Camera phones and Bluetooth are frequently derided by the religious authority, basically because photography is officially and strictly banned everywhere in the Kingdom and also because some percentage of the wacky-weirdo Arab youth snap photographs of women in the market place, etc. etc. The guard-women at the mosque��s gate would check my purse too, which contained a pocket-size Quran, a Sony Ericcsson J300i and an Acer Digicam. At Makkah, the checking was not very strict �� I took out the mobile and showed it to the concerned person, and he didn��t look into the purse where I kept my Digicam.

At Madinah, the woman was thorough in her checking �� she soon discovered the camera and told me that I��d have to take it back to my father or any male relative outside. Where was I to find Abba, who was entering through the male entrance, and whom I had last seen in the parking lot? She spoke in Arabic and I could catch just a few words�� I tried to tell her I wouldn��t use it, but she turned a deaf ear. So, what did we do?

We prayed Fajr outside, under the lovely dark sky, in the mosque��s courtyard. Perfectly normal. And next time, my camera stayed in one of those ��storage-compartments�� in the wall of the hotel room.

About the Prophet��s mosque: it is enormous, and although I can��t exactly quote the capacity in terms of the number of people that can pray there, I do know that the mosque covers an area now, that in the days of the Prophet (phub), was the entire Madina (or rather, Yathrib) town. Around 5-6 km from the Mosque, directly opposite the Faisal gates, lies the large and longitudinal Ohud mountain, where the Ohud battle was fought.

The main features of the Prophet��s mosque are the same as those of the Haram in Makkah, with an added feature that it is fully air conditioned whereas the Haram is provided this facility in select areas so far. Most of my knowledge of the two holy mosques comes from two sources �� firstly, by seeing everything for my self, and secondly, by watching the documentaries produced by the Bin-Laden company, detailing each aspect of the expansions at these sites. I could, thus, write for hours about how they constructed the doors with the greatest details, polished the marble pillars and their various fittings, setup underground Zam Zam lines, constructed enormous domes, installed marble finishing factories, electrical power plants etc. etc.

The Prophet��s tomb is towards a side of the mosque, easily accessible from the male entrance but farther from the female ones. My earliest memories of going for saying ��Salaam�� at the Prophet��s tomb are of lining up outside a small gateway within the mosque �� this gate closed of the corridor leading to the tomb area. After Zuhr prayers, at 1:30 pm (separate timings for women), they would open the gates and women would hurry forward across the polished marble, down the corridor flanked by large pillars, dappled in sunshine in patches from the roof inlets towards the Prophet��s tomb.

The tomb itself is not directly accessible�� around it is built a cage like wall, a grill with an intricate pattern so you really can��t see inside�� and it��s flat in there anyway. Adjacent to this tomb are the tombs of Hazrat Abu Bakr (RAH) and Hadrat Umar (RAH) in similar grill-enclosed areas. There is yet another chamber but the title plague over it is blank�� the grave is empty�� it has been kept for Hazrat Isa (A.S.).

After praying ��Durood�� and the customary words of ��salam�� one utters at graves, as done by the Prophet (pbuh) himself, I remember going to the Riyadh-ul-Jannah, marked by a white-carpeted area. It is said to be part of the Prophet��s chamber and thus, offering two rakah of Nafil prayer are deemed to be very rewarding �� Allah knows best! We also saw the platform where the Scribes of the Divine Revelation (Ashab-e-Sohof) sat and recorded the words of the Quran �� it is about one feet high, and around eight feet by six feet in area.

My father has also had the chance to offer Juma prayer at the Prophet (pbuh)'s Pulpit, from where the Prophet delivered his sermon. I have not seen it for myself as it is located in the male area of the mosque.

If you roam within the mosque, you can see large indoor courtyards dappled in sunlight during the day �� but you can cover up those gaps in the roof too! They��ve used large, machine operated umbrella-type of shutters, mounted on long poles. When expanded completely, these canvas shutters work completely close the gaps. But that feature I love most is the sliding dome! Large, finely crafted and intricately designed domes all over the mosque are actually mounted on railings�� sometimes, after Fajr or Maghreb, these domes silently and slowly begin to move and ultimately you can see the stars twinkling outside. When my mother witnessed it, she said she felt her prayers were flying up to heaven through those windows.

I��ve always felt that the authorities are doing an excellent job in the maintenance of the two Holy mosques, considering the enormity of the task, the number of pilgrims who visit and mess created by the majority of the visitors! Some argue that the oil wells provide money which is actually making this efficient management possible �� but I disagree and perhaps, you will too.

We had reached Madinah in the evening of 4th July and, after spending the whole of the next day there, were ready to depart to Tabuk in the morning of 6th July. Since the drive was quite long �� around seven hours �� we decided to get onto the road immediately after returning from Fajr prayer so that we��d be in Tabuk by 1 pm or so. As the sun rose over the horizon, we were on the highway, and the view of the Ohud mountain was spectacular �� as always. Hour by hour, through rocky hills, then the higher, mountainous area of Ashash, the desert plain around Tayma and finally, the most beautiful rolling sand dunes on the outskirts of Tabuk, we entered the city I will always call home��

With this, our ��Umrah trip�� came to a close, and Allah alone knows when we will be able to see those places again�� that��s what I think everytime we return from Makkah and Madinah and it is the main reason why I wish to be able to visit Saudi Arabia freely for a long time�� every good thing must reach it��s termination though, and our time in Saudi Arabia is drawing to a close. A year or two years later, many important things will reach their conclusion in Tabuk, and they will all ultimately lead to our final exit from the Kingdom.

I��ve still got lot��s more to say on these subjects but there��s a limit to what you can waste �� even if it��s free space on blogger.com�� perhaps later, then. Allah Hafiz!

The Holy city of Makkah

2005-07-10T14:55:00.000Z

Before anything else, I have to say that I am very impatient and restless �� I want to say a thousand things all in a go�� before I get bored.

So many things have happened since my last posting. If you don��t believe me, well, it suffices to say that I performed two Umrahs (Alhamdolillah) during this time. As soon as I was through with the last of my practical exams, Amma, my sisters and I were to depart to Saudi Arabia where my father lives and works. Our real destination was Tabuk, my birth-city to the north of S. Arabia, close to the Jordanian border. However, we had wanted to perform Umrah too, so we boarded the 4-hour Karachi-Jeddah flight on 1st July.

The flight was fine, Alhamdolillah, but the real trouble started at the Jeddah airport. The problem is that Saudis, by nature, are a very lazy and proud nation. The immigration officers strolled here and there, anywhere but their desks! The immigration lines grew longer, and my mother, as usual, drifted from line to line to see which was shortest, or tried to jump the line and go right to the front�� embarrassing, yes. Anyway, after about an hour, we were out of the airport where we met Abba. Aaah�� family reunions are always very pleasant. Still, we do meet Abba within six months or so, so it��s not a very long separation!

Makkah is an hour��s drive from Jeddah, and we planned to enter the city by 3 pm to avoid the rush of Zuhr prayer. School holidays start here around 20th June, which means the two holy cities are jam-packed, especially on the weekend �� Thursday and Friday. We stopped at a popular fast-food restaurant on the way �� Tazaj �� not McDonalds (local fast-food chains are much more popular here than foreign franchises like McDonalds and KFC). After a sumptious meal, we were back on the road.

The Meeqat i.e. the sacred Haram boundary (beyond which pilgrims are to wear Ihram) lies almost within the city of Makkah now, due to large scale development in recent years. Amma, my sisters and I had already offered the two Nafl required for entering Ihram condition in Karachi so all we had to do was wait for Abba to don his Ihram at the meeqat, and join us.

Recently, I��ve been taking a lot of interest in all things religious, which basically originated from attending voluntary Quranic classes at my college for two years. My Zoology teacher, Mrs. Rukhsana Saleem, is a very kind and elderly woman �� she taught us, a small group of about twenty to thirty students, major Surahs during her free time and our break periods. It was a very enlightening experience, especially since it was so interactive and we were also able to discuss major global issues and their effect on Muslims in the present and coming times. Coupled with this activity was my inherent and instinctive love for the Middle East. It all combined into a very excited and ecstatic (excuse the alliterations) wait up to the Umrah. We were driving towards Makkah, through hills and rocks of varying shades, and I could almost imagine this place thousands of years ago, graced by our Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his companions on camelback, slowly making their way across the dunes��

The city of Makkah, once confined within the main vale, has now spread over the surrounding hills and mountains. This was only possible after development authorities bore through the mountains, creating a mesh of tunnels, underpasses, flyovers and bridges. This has really facilitated the free flow of traffic and easy access to the Haram, especially in peak seasons of pilgrimage.

We made straight for the hotel, where we planned to rest for an hour or two before proceeding for Umrah. Our place of stay was the Pakistan House, for the first time ever, and I��m pleased (and surprised) to say that it was a lovely experience. Although the Pakistan House might need a touch of maintenance here and there, it is a very decent place to stay, with a well-mannered and efficient staff employed directly through the embassy. The major plus point is that it is quite close (about 900 m) to the Haram and easily affordable by all �� which says a lot, since hotels close to the Haram charge maddeningly high sums.

To the point, then. We decided to offer Maghrib prayers at the Haram, and then start our Umrah. Thus, after a nap, we were on our way towards the mosque. My heart was fluttering with excitement, and longed to see the Kabah as soon as possible. The wait had been very long and much delayed. Across the wide open, marble courtyard of the Haram, we entered through ��Baab Fahd�� (Fahd gate), and headed for the ladies section.

Pilgrims who visit Makkah for the first time are often wound up in various worries �� passport, visa, hotels, transport, etc. and the true magnificence and essence of the place bounces off them the first day. But when they stay there for a few days, everything sinks in. Pure and fresh air that seems to blow from the Kabah itself, greets the pilgrim and offers relief from the burning heat of summer. The marble is cool beneath the feet �� and there��s a good reason for that too. Outside the Haram, in the courtyard, cool water is circulated beneath the marble to keep it cool, even at mid-day. Around the Kabah, within the mosque, the same procedure enables pilgrims to perform Tawaf in the peak days of summer (circling the Kabah 7 times, while praying and glorifying Allah).

Excuse me, I do tend to go off-track and begin to ramble terribly sometimes �� it is a very marked idiosyncrasy.

After Maghrib, we went up to the Kabah and began our Tawaf. The crowd making Tawaf consisted of those in Ihram, as well as casual visitors. With the light from the sunset tinting the sky faintly, and Zikr and Tasbeeh resounding in the air, it is a most exhilarating experience �� but then again, concentrating on your steps and the constant elbowing you receive from your surrounding people makes it a wee bit difficult to concentrate on the religious and spiritual aspect. One bit of advice though �� try perform Tawaf after Isha prayer or before Fajr, when most of the public has left and usually, only pilgrims performing Umrah remain�� it is the most peaceful and relaxed time you could get.

After Tawaf, it was time for Isha prayer and we quickly joined the congregation. The Imaams who lead prayers at both Makkah and Madinah are widely revered for their excellent Tilawat (recitation of the Holy Quran) but you have to hope to be there at the right time �� apart from the month of Ramadan �� to hear the best, such as Sudais, Shorim and Hudhaify. During my entire Umrah trip, three days at Makkah and two at Madinah, there were just the last Maghrib and Isha at Madinah which were led by Hudhaify.

One thing that I almost forgot to mention, and should have mentioned right in the beginning, is the excellent management and maintenance at the two Holy Mosques. These two sites, which are visited round-the-clock by thousands daily, and millions annually, are maintained, under the supervision of the authorities, by the Saudi bin-Laden group. This company basically supplies the manpower required to run and maintain almost every aspect of the Mosques. Any body who visits these sites cannot overlook the enormous effort put into maintaining them 24/7 �� from cleaning the marble floors, walls, stairs, escalators, Tawaf area, Saee area and courtyards to the colossal task of ensuring that Zam Zam water is available to every pilgrim just a few feet away �� wherever he or she is inside the mosque! The staff is constantly seen polishing the walkways with their heavy equipment, vacuuming the carpets and picking up trash and empty water cups.

The number of pilgrims and visitors at both Holy Mosques has been increasing substantially over the years and the Zam Zam well obviously cannot supply abundant water to each and every city in the Kingdom, as well as foreign countries, apart from the Mosques themselves �� without diluting the Zam Zam water slightly. Also, Zam Zam is very ��heavy��, rich in many salts and minerals; earlier, when it was not diluted with ordinary water, it was very difficult for anyone to drink even a single glass of it. Nowadays, you can easily down up to two glasses but the fact remains that Zam Zam is very extraordinary water �� after a while, you really wish you had a bottle of ordinary water.

The Zam Zam well was earlier easily accessible and anyone could go down the wide, sloping tunnel near the Kabah and get as close to it as was possible with all the pumping equipment, machinery and network of pipes surrounding it. The authorities recently closed up the entrance, as it took up a lot of space in the inner courtyard and now, I��ve heard, there is a separate entrance for men through a different approach area.

In Makkah, the maintenance staff constantly check the Zam Zam water coolers, and replace the empty ones, as well as replenish the disposable cups with each cooler. You might think I��m stupid to point out something so trivial but you really have to be there to know what I��m talking about. When I say that a drink of Zam Zam is just a few feet away, wherever you may be, I��m not kidding! There might be more than a thousand Zam Zam coolers at the Haram in Makkah �� and people drinking out of them continuously, every time using a disposable cup �� and you never find a cooler empty. Kudos to the staff!!

So�� after the Isha prayer, we went ahead for Saee�� which can be uncomfortable for very old or very young feet. The distance from the Safa to the Murwah hill must be around 500m and you have to walk to and fro, a total of seven times �� that��s around 3500m or 3.5km. As in the rest of the mosque, this area has been paved with marble �� and interestingly, this was the first area of the Haram to be paved. Additionally, two lanes have been provided for those in wheelchairs. Walking and praying during Saee, I could only imagine how difficult it must have been during the days when people would walk the same track, then full of pebbles and rock fragments, with bare feet.

As soon as we were done with Saee, that is, about a quarter of an hour later, all we had to do was snip off a bit of a strand of hair and that completed the Umrah, Alhmadolillah! I just hope that it is accepted by Allah.

The rest of our stay at Makkah was relaxed and easy going �� most of us had a few troubles with the gastrointestinal track (Haha, I wanna be a doctor, mommy!) but those were solved with light medicines �� but why am I mentioning this? Anyway�� we had lots and lots of icecream cones (especially after Fajr prayer), and my favorite Arabian sandwich �� the 'Taa��mia'. A 'Taa��mia' is a ��scrumplicious�� and filling sandwich: half an Arabian nan, the Khubz is stuffed with Falafil (round fried kebabs, that look like donuts, made out of chick-pea paste), fried brinjal, tomatoes, onions, pickles, yoghurt sauce, potato fries, boiled eggs and baby corns! Yum�� yum�� I just love everything Arab.

Leaving Makkah was not something my sisters and I were very happy about �� we had settled into a comfortable routine, and especially liked the atmosphere of the Pakistan House. ��Must we go to Madinah?�� was what we kept asking Abba. Anyway, after performing Umrah for a second time (we had to go to the Ayesha Mosque at the outskirts of the city, to don Ihram again) we left Makkah on the 4th of July, in the afternoon�� and headed for Madinah.

This post is enormously enormous �� and I��m feeling bored now �� Allah Hafiz.

I'm comfy: Your home is my home!

2005-06-22T18:49:00.000Z

Soo... skipping all that trash about introductions and silly things such as "my hobbies", "my dislikes", "favorite colour", "embarrassing moments", etc... I'm plonking right down on the Blogger sofa, propping my feet up on the table - wait, no, I don't like that... Ha. Ha.

Right.... plonking right down on the Blogger sofa and making myself comfy...

Hey, I just avoid wasting space on flat, 2-D (or rather 1-D if it were possible) descriptions of my "personality". It's boring, and frankly, nobody wants to read a blog that's "just begun".

Sooooo.... ah, yes, the weather. Well, it was sweltering in Karachi today (35 degrees Celsius, max and humidity at 62%) and with out car A.C. out of "gas", we suffered "heat strokes" to some extent. My mother drove me back from college with my sisters in the backseat, and even after downing a cup each of CARBONATED FIZZ (no free publicity! :P), we were ogling (okay, I was ogling!) at other cars with their windows up - and chilly, dry environments inside!

I'm not exaggerating when I say we suffered "heat strokes". My mother came home, had lunch, and didn't go along well with it. The walls felt as if they were radiating heat. The fans were mutinous, in league with those treacherous walls too, I suppose. My mother (Amma) and I, both, found some refuge in her room... I didn't bother changing my uniform... I tried to eat... too hot, couldn't get it down... all my enzymes were on "emergency leave". I couldn't even sleep... okay, cut it, Ameera... it's too boring.

Undaunted.

We even ran out of beverages (other than water... but we ran out of cold water too)... I tried to combine some leftover Tang (publicity... pay up, Tang people) with lemon juice and a subcontinental concentrated drink called Rooh Afza (a sweet concoction made with different herbs, and diluted with water... it's deep pink, rather red, in colour). Anyway, the "juice" wasn't really very tasty, so don't bother trying to make it. It's not as if I made it for the first time... it's just that if there was enough Tang, it would have tasted yummy, as usual! Tang and Rooh Afza combine to produce a lovely, orangish-red colour... people ask us what flavour instant drink it is that we make for them... oops, I let out the "s e c r e t r e c i p e".

Okay, I'm bored now. I would write more... but... maybe tomorrow. I'm over-comfy now.

Salam Alaikum!

2005-06-13T22:13:00.000Z

Ethereal Melodies... just cuz' I thought it was a cool, mysterious and thick, oh sorry, deep name!

Haha. No, I'm not the " just cuz' " type, so that takes care of 99% of the introduction.

A normal 18 year-old wakes up to the realities of life (sorry, I know it's cliche'), sheds away girlish dreams and takes the world hands on... the result: Ethereal Melodies.

I'm just glad, in my case, the result wasn't "Let's Disco!" , "My life sux!", "I wanna die!", "Cruel planet!", "Desperado" etc.

After that, Ethereal Melodies should be the breezy, peaceful, dawn-lit blog I wish it to be.

But how's that possible when this blogger is a fan of temperate sarcasm, chocolate and carbonated fizz too? Hmm... I know you're thinking I'm just another lunatic-blogger-claiming-to-be-unique thingy on the web!

Well, maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You can't really predict life, can you?

I'll be back soon, inshAllah, with my debut post... untill then, Allah Hafiz.